As all of you know, the Super Bowl is coming to Dallas. Well here’s a side to it that you never hear about….at least publically. My V.P. of Programs, Alex, was contacted this week by the Child Exploitation Unit of the Dallas Police Department for Promise House to be a shelter for under-age prostitutes that get picked up during the Super Bowl. I’ve been haunted thinking about this discussion and the numbers of prostitutes that will be brought in for the Super Bowl. Is this Las Vegas or something? Geez, I simply cannot get my head around this kind of blatant, slimy, behavior engaged in by so many people. The even more horrific thought is the number of under-age prostitutes, both girls and boys, who will brought in to be used and abused.
Promise House is no stranger to helping prostitutes, both under-age and young adults. Thankfully, not in the numbers that are projected to be dealt with during the Super Bowl, but still, the issues are the same. So many get caught up in it simply trying to survive, trying to get something to eat, have someplace to stay. Teens (both boys and girls) 18 and under on the street will be approached by a “pimp” within 48 hours of “arriving” on the street. Lost, hungry, and confused, they get lured in and the downward spiral begins. They are objectified, bought, sold, used and abused in horrific ways.
Thankfully, the Dallas Police Department is beginning to understand the fact that under-age prostitutes are victims, not criminals. Letot Center, the shelter run by the Juvenile Justice Department here in town, is doing some great work with these kids. Instead of being arrested, these kids are now brought to Letot for special programming and help. This is what we will be doing during the Super Bowl. We have no idea how many will come to Promise House, but I’ll let you know how it goes.
These kids are someone’s children. They had hopes and dreams. They didn’t say when they were little, “Gee, I think I want to be on the street and become a prostitute when I grow up.” They certainly didn’t say, “I’m looking forward to being bought and sold and used and abused when I grow up.” They’ve had their childhoods and youth snatched from them in the most traumatic way. Hopefully, while they are with us, we can give them back a little of that youth and some of their hopes and dreams. At the very least, we can offer them a warm bed, good food, clean clothes, a shower, and a listening ear…..all with no strings attached.
Wish us luck.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
On Turning 60....
Thursday, January 6, I turned 60. Every time I say that, I have such cognitive dissonance that I think my brain will explode. Sixty,sixty, sixty. Maybe if I say it enough, it will no longer freak me out. I have outlived my mother and my older brother, Bill. Fortunately, however, not my father or my other sibs. My brother, Ross, is even more freaked out about my birthday than I; because it means he's NEXT!!
How can we be this old? It really is unfathomable to me that sixty years of my life have passed. Really, I'm stunned. I'm just stunned.......particularly when so much of my stream-of-consciousness thinking encompasses long-ago scenes, activities, memories, thoughts, and events that FEEL so current i.e., when I see a young mother struggling to corral her kids and flash on memories of myself doing the same; I certainly don't feel 30 years older than she at that moment.....it seems I was JUST doing what she is currently doing. Likewise, when I’m hanging out with Promise House teens or other young people, I don’t feel old enough to be their mother or even grandmother (heaven forbid!!). I feel as vital, passionate, energetic, and cool as they are; unless, of course, I try to play basketball or volleyball with them. Then, unfortunately, I am brought up short VERY QUICKLY as to my lack of youth! But when I’m with them, I don’t FEEL any age difference……I am right back in my own adolescence or young adulthood with them.
It's uncanny how ALL of my life is carried around with me, with parts of it being triggered by a scent, a sound, a song.....and I am RIGHT back there.....and it is CURRENT....and it is WITH me.....and I don't FEEL 60.....I feel 20 or 15 or 35 or 5....and then I notice myself in a mirror.....and I am once again stunned.....because I AM 60!
My vanity is really getting the best of me on this birthday. I have friends who have celebrated their graying hair, their increased wrinkles, proudly announcing that they earned every one of them and are happy to show them off. I, on the other hand, want no such part of this celebration. I will go to my grave covering at least some of my gray and fighting those pesky little wrinkles one by one!
I admit that I am of the Boomer group who wants to be eternally young, who is totally vain, self-involved, and bent on turning back time, as impossible as that is. I've often said that I'm going for 120, still lookin' and feelin' good. I have lucked out with fabulous genes, good health, pretty good looks, and a fair amount of athleticism and may get close to that; however, none of these will save me in the end. I will still get old (hopefully) and die.
Since I can’t go backwards, and the only other option is very unappealing, I guess 60 doesn’t look all that bad. I AM still above ground, functioning, healthy, happy, energetic, and optimistic. Hopefully, I have lots more years to wrestle the hands of time, if not backwards at least not so quickly forward. And I will continue to be stunned at the passage of time, the aging of my friends, family, and me; and I will continue to carry my life around with me and be all kinds of different ages all the time.....that is, until I spy myself in a mirror.
How can we be this old? It really is unfathomable to me that sixty years of my life have passed. Really, I'm stunned. I'm just stunned.......particularly when so much of my stream-of-consciousness thinking encompasses long-ago scenes, activities, memories, thoughts, and events that FEEL so current i.e., when I see a young mother struggling to corral her kids and flash on memories of myself doing the same; I certainly don't feel 30 years older than she at that moment.....it seems I was JUST doing what she is currently doing. Likewise, when I’m hanging out with Promise House teens or other young people, I don’t feel old enough to be their mother or even grandmother (heaven forbid!!). I feel as vital, passionate, energetic, and cool as they are; unless, of course, I try to play basketball or volleyball with them. Then, unfortunately, I am brought up short VERY QUICKLY as to my lack of youth! But when I’m with them, I don’t FEEL any age difference……I am right back in my own adolescence or young adulthood with them.
It's uncanny how ALL of my life is carried around with me, with parts of it being triggered by a scent, a sound, a song.....and I am RIGHT back there.....and it is CURRENT....and it is WITH me.....and I don't FEEL 60.....I feel 20 or 15 or 35 or 5....and then I notice myself in a mirror.....and I am once again stunned.....because I AM 60!
My vanity is really getting the best of me on this birthday. I have friends who have celebrated their graying hair, their increased wrinkles, proudly announcing that they earned every one of them and are happy to show them off. I, on the other hand, want no such part of this celebration. I will go to my grave covering at least some of my gray and fighting those pesky little wrinkles one by one!
I admit that I am of the Boomer group who wants to be eternally young, who is totally vain, self-involved, and bent on turning back time, as impossible as that is. I've often said that I'm going for 120, still lookin' and feelin' good. I have lucked out with fabulous genes, good health, pretty good looks, and a fair amount of athleticism and may get close to that; however, none of these will save me in the end. I will still get old (hopefully) and die.
Since I can’t go backwards, and the only other option is very unappealing, I guess 60 doesn’t look all that bad. I AM still above ground, functioning, healthy, happy, energetic, and optimistic. Hopefully, I have lots more years to wrestle the hands of time, if not backwards at least not so quickly forward. And I will continue to be stunned at the passage of time, the aging of my friends, family, and me; and I will continue to carry my life around with me and be all kinds of different ages all the time.....that is, until I spy myself in a mirror.
Monday, January 10, 2011
2011 New Years Resolutions for our Government
Happy New Year, Everyone!
During the holidays, I came up with a small list of resolutions our government should make in 2011 regarding the plight of homeless and runaway teens in our country:
Housing – The US Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Department of Health and Human Services (ACYF/FYSB) should get together to offer funding for housing and support services for our teens. HUD should re-open funds for transitional housing, which is critical for the success of our teens—they are NOT chronically homeless and most do not have a severe enough disability to be eligible for permanent supportive housing—and DHHS, through the Family Youth Services Bureau should offer funds for support services directly linked to the housing funds. These services would include case management, food, clothing, furnishings, medical and dental, family planning, and everything else we all currently provide for these kids. So, come on HUD and DHHS, what do you say???
Top Billing – Homeless and runaway teens and young adults should be DHHS’ and HUD’s top priority. They should resolve that in order to truly end homelessness in this country, these kids will be a priority focus this coming year and for at least the next 10 years.
Congressional Resolve – Both houses of Congress should resolve to end their neglect of these kids, as demonstrated by the paltry funding that continues to be dedicated to them, by resolving to dramatically increase funding to the Runaway/Homeless Youth Act, to transitional housing funds through HUD, and to other programs that serve these teens.
I’m sure there are many more I could up with, but these will do for a start. My BIG question to the Universe, Congress, and anyone else who will listen is, “When will we get that helping young people get off the streets is SOOOOO much cheaper and SOOOO much more effective than waiting until they are 45, addicted to everything on earth, in horrible health, with terrible mental health conditions?? It is SUCH a no-brainer for me,
Unfortunately, I know that I am preaching to the choir here. You all know the story. You see it every day. Somehow, we need to find the time and the voice to make sure that our government knows the story, that they see it EVERY day, and that they DO NOT ignore this most important story.
So, perhaps our New Year’s resolution should be to be the VERY loud, SQEAKY wheel that gets the grease!
Happy LOUD, SQUEAKY New Year!!!
During the holidays, I came up with a small list of resolutions our government should make in 2011 regarding the plight of homeless and runaway teens in our country:
Housing – The US Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Department of Health and Human Services (ACYF/FYSB) should get together to offer funding for housing and support services for our teens. HUD should re-open funds for transitional housing, which is critical for the success of our teens—they are NOT chronically homeless and most do not have a severe enough disability to be eligible for permanent supportive housing—and DHHS, through the Family Youth Services Bureau should offer funds for support services directly linked to the housing funds. These services would include case management, food, clothing, furnishings, medical and dental, family planning, and everything else we all currently provide for these kids. So, come on HUD and DHHS, what do you say???
Top Billing – Homeless and runaway teens and young adults should be DHHS’ and HUD’s top priority. They should resolve that in order to truly end homelessness in this country, these kids will be a priority focus this coming year and for at least the next 10 years.
Congressional Resolve – Both houses of Congress should resolve to end their neglect of these kids, as demonstrated by the paltry funding that continues to be dedicated to them, by resolving to dramatically increase funding to the Runaway/Homeless Youth Act, to transitional housing funds through HUD, and to other programs that serve these teens.
I’m sure there are many more I could up with, but these will do for a start. My BIG question to the Universe, Congress, and anyone else who will listen is, “When will we get that helping young people get off the streets is SOOOOO much cheaper and SOOOO much more effective than waiting until they are 45, addicted to everything on earth, in horrible health, with terrible mental health conditions?? It is SUCH a no-brainer for me,
Unfortunately, I know that I am preaching to the choir here. You all know the story. You see it every day. Somehow, we need to find the time and the voice to make sure that our government knows the story, that they see it EVERY day, and that they DO NOT ignore this most important story.
So, perhaps our New Year’s resolution should be to be the VERY loud, SQEAKY wheel that gets the grease!
Happy LOUD, SQUEAKY New Year!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Best Christmas Tree Ever
I’ve been partying so heartily this month that I completely forgot about blogging. But last Wednesday as we were decorating the Promise House Christmas Tree, I once again became awe-struck by the ability of our teens to be……just kids; and was inspired to tell you.
As we pulled out the decorations, decided how to do the lights, discussed which ornaments to put where, and ate pounds of popcorn, all the trauma, sadness, instability, abuse, fear, and uncertainty of their lives took a very backseat to the fun of the hour. We had babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, young adults, and us old staffers laughing, talking, decorating, and eating together as the tree blossomed into probably our best Christmas Tree Ever!
Even the shy ones got in on the act. With a little coaxing, a very timid 15-year old girl, who hates crowds, accepted the ornaments I brought her and found just the right spot on the tree for them. The older teens were helping the young kids reach to new heights (literally) while the toddlers wobbled around playing with and dropping the shatter-proof (thank goodness) ornaments.
When completed, the tree shone like magic and the kids, stuffed with popcorn and good cheer, shone right along with it. A good time was had by all.
I’ve often said that one of our most important roles in the lives of our kids is to be an anchor in their many-times stormy lives. Although we facilitate family visits, parties, overnight stays, and gift giving during the holidays with our teens and their families, there are always those kids who have no family, whose families fail to show or who disappoint, or kids who can’t be with their family for a variety of reasons. Consequently, it is experiences like the one we shared last Wednesday that serve as the anchor for them; that help them remember they are cared about, even loved. Hopefully, some day when these kids are grown and decorating their own Christmas trees with their families, they will fondly remember a long-ago day of tree decorating at Promise House…..and the sanctuary provided for them on that day.
That is the best Christmas gift for which we could ever hope!
As we pulled out the decorations, decided how to do the lights, discussed which ornaments to put where, and ate pounds of popcorn, all the trauma, sadness, instability, abuse, fear, and uncertainty of their lives took a very backseat to the fun of the hour. We had babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, young adults, and us old staffers laughing, talking, decorating, and eating together as the tree blossomed into probably our best Christmas Tree Ever!
Even the shy ones got in on the act. With a little coaxing, a very timid 15-year old girl, who hates crowds, accepted the ornaments I brought her and found just the right spot on the tree for them. The older teens were helping the young kids reach to new heights (literally) while the toddlers wobbled around playing with and dropping the shatter-proof (thank goodness) ornaments.
When completed, the tree shone like magic and the kids, stuffed with popcorn and good cheer, shone right along with it. A good time was had by all.
I’ve often said that one of our most important roles in the lives of our kids is to be an anchor in their many-times stormy lives. Although we facilitate family visits, parties, overnight stays, and gift giving during the holidays with our teens and their families, there are always those kids who have no family, whose families fail to show or who disappoint, or kids who can’t be with their family for a variety of reasons. Consequently, it is experiences like the one we shared last Wednesday that serve as the anchor for them; that help them remember they are cared about, even loved. Hopefully, some day when these kids are grown and decorating their own Christmas trees with their families, they will fondly remember a long-ago day of tree decorating at Promise House…..and the sanctuary provided for them on that day.
That is the best Christmas gift for which we could ever hope!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Flavors of the Feast
Tomorrow, as I make cornbread dressing and cranberry-orange relish for Thanksgiving (my brother is doing the turkey, thank god!), my thoughts will drift to Thanksgivings long past. Voices and images from those times will appear, some randomly, some triggered by a task, an aroma, a taste, some newly escaped from the cobwebs of my brain: the pre-dinner ritual of polishing silver, washing crystal and china, setting the table just so; my grandmother, Hattye, grinding cranberries and oranges with her ancient grinder (man, I wish I had that grinder!), my mother baking and then drying bread for dressing, the chop, chop, chopping of onion and celery, the constant tasting of everything, and the ambrosia.....food for the gods. Each of these memories flavor this year's delectables, are talked about again and again, and with the talking, are passed on to my daughters for future Thanksgiving dinners.
I wonder if we even know how profound the traditions we create as families are. How crucial they are to our children's lives, to their growth, to their sense of belonging. And how devastating it is when there are none to which a child can anchor himself or herself. I can't imagine not being able to draw from the incredibly rich traditions and stories of my family, not having that history to add girth and foundation to my history, having no backdrop for my life.
And yet, there are thousands upon thousands of kids who come to us every year totally unmoored from family, from their history, from anything positive to draw upon. And as their temporary sanctuaries, it is our job to BE that anchor, that history, that positive; to create memories and traditions that will live on in them, that will give them stories they want to tell their children, traditions they want to emulate.
Thanksgiving is a very big tradition at Promise House.....every year.....and this year will be no different. There will be tons of food, fun, and memories-in-the-making; so that on some future day, when one of our teens is fixing his or her family's Thanksgiving dinner, voices and images of a happy, long-past Thanksgiving at Promise House will appear and will flavor their feast.
I wonder if we even know how profound the traditions we create as families are. How crucial they are to our children's lives, to their growth, to their sense of belonging. And how devastating it is when there are none to which a child can anchor himself or herself. I can't imagine not being able to draw from the incredibly rich traditions and stories of my family, not having that history to add girth and foundation to my history, having no backdrop for my life.
And yet, there are thousands upon thousands of kids who come to us every year totally unmoored from family, from their history, from anything positive to draw upon. And as their temporary sanctuaries, it is our job to BE that anchor, that history, that positive; to create memories and traditions that will live on in them, that will give them stories they want to tell their children, traditions they want to emulate.
Thanksgiving is a very big tradition at Promise House.....every year.....and this year will be no different. There will be tons of food, fun, and memories-in-the-making; so that on some future day, when one of our teens is fixing his or her family's Thanksgiving dinner, voices and images of a happy, long-past Thanksgiving at Promise House will appear and will flavor their feast.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Gratitude Lists
Thanksgiving is coming to Promise House today. We will enjoy our annual Thanksgiving Lunch with staff and teens. Our infamous cook, Peggy, has already done the turkey, dressing, and gravy. The rest of us are bringing sides (I hope!) We usually end up with five times more desserts than anything else.
So, what to be grateful for today? All of the twelve-step programs encourage daily gratitude lists to connect with what is right in our lives. In several of the darkest times of my life, these lists have saved me from absolute despair. But, when things get better, we (at least I) "forget" to do them. It's like the saying, "No one in a fox hole does not believe in God".....at our very worst or most fearful or most desperate, we call out, reaching for anything to ease our misery. In better times, we slide into complacency and forgetfulness. We take good things for granted.
But life is only a fleeting moment. What is here this minute is gone the next. There is no tomorrow.....certainly no guarantee of one. To be grateful in the moment, for whatever is in your life is a true gift and skill. To be present, really present TODAY, this minute, this second, is no easy task. Yet, it is the ONLY way to stay in gratitude.
Sounds great, huh? I can only get glimpses of that state of being. I can take baby steps every day. I can text Leslie and tell her I love her. I can "FaceTime" Kat and tell her how beautiful she is. I can look around at my home, my neighbors, my "hood" and smile. I can call my father and yell (he's almost deaf) how glad I am that he is still with us.
Today, I am grateful for Peggy's sweet potato pies, Sonja's green salad, Paloma going and getting ice cream cakes, and the fact that the kitchen and dining room at PH will be crammed with teens and adults sharing a meal together. The smells will be intoxicating, the conversation loud and hilarious, the Turkey games stupid and fun, the amount of food our teens eat, awe-inspiring.
What's on your gratitude list today?
So, what to be grateful for today? All of the twelve-step programs encourage daily gratitude lists to connect with what is right in our lives. In several of the darkest times of my life, these lists have saved me from absolute despair. But, when things get better, we (at least I) "forget" to do them. It's like the saying, "No one in a fox hole does not believe in God".....at our very worst or most fearful or most desperate, we call out, reaching for anything to ease our misery. In better times, we slide into complacency and forgetfulness. We take good things for granted.
But life is only a fleeting moment. What is here this minute is gone the next. There is no tomorrow.....certainly no guarantee of one. To be grateful in the moment, for whatever is in your life is a true gift and skill. To be present, really present TODAY, this minute, this second, is no easy task. Yet, it is the ONLY way to stay in gratitude.
Sounds great, huh? I can only get glimpses of that state of being. I can take baby steps every day. I can text Leslie and tell her I love her. I can "FaceTime" Kat and tell her how beautiful she is. I can look around at my home, my neighbors, my "hood" and smile. I can call my father and yell (he's almost deaf) how glad I am that he is still with us.
Today, I am grateful for Peggy's sweet potato pies, Sonja's green salad, Paloma going and getting ice cream cakes, and the fact that the kitchen and dining room at PH will be crammed with teens and adults sharing a meal together. The smells will be intoxicating, the conversation loud and hilarious, the Turkey games stupid and fun, the amount of food our teens eat, awe-inspiring.
What's on your gratitude list today?
Monday, October 18, 2010
Paloma
So, this is going to embarrass her to death, but today is my assistant’s five-year anniversary with Promise House. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of working with Paloma, let me just say that someone up their smiled down upon me when they sent her to me. As many of you know, I was beginning to be known as the Murphy Brown of Promise House. I couldn’t keep an assistant to save my life. I won’t go into all the details, but suffice it to say, I had just about given up all hope.
I knew Paloma from her history with Promise House. She not only had gone through our shelter years ago, but had served on the Board of Directors until she moved to Las Vegas. When Sonja, my street outreach manager, told me that Paloma was moving back to Dallas and wanted to interview for the position, I was very hesitant. But, after several conversations and interviews with her, she became my new assistant.....and I totally redeemed myself by hiring her!
Here are just a few of the highlights of her career thus far:
· She totally organized the government grant system (you have NO idea what a mammoth job that is!).
· She has totally taken over grant renewals, including HUD, which NO ONE understands (but her, now!).
· She set up the PH Connect system that we use for meeting and document management and continues to
manage and update it.
· She has created some of the coolest Power Point presentations ever.
· She screens my calls, protects me from weird solicitors, second-guesses what I need before I need it, keeps
all my correspondence catalogued and filed correctly, knows my calendar, and has such a pleasant demeanor
that most people would rather talk to her than me!
· She has served as translator more times than I can count and translates documents into Spanish whenever we
need it.
· She plans and organizes meetings like nobody’s business!
· She ALWAYS gets the catering right!
· She kept an orchid alive for almost 2 years that was given to me as a gift when my step-mother died (if it had
been up to me, that poor orchid would have been dead in a month!).
I’m sure I could go on forever, but here is the best part: I have NEVER heard her say anything but, “I’d be glad to”, “No problem”, “Don’t worry, we can fix it”, “I’ll get right on that”, “I’ll be happy to”, “Do you need me to work late?” Who does that??? From day one she kept a running list of her daily activities (she used to work for a law firm) which she emails to me at the end of each day, along with her plans for the next day. How cool is that??
By now she is probably hiding under her desk, but I can’t help bragging on her. I’ve often said that you can train someone on just about anything. But you absolutely CANNOT train someone to have the kind of attitude Paloma has.
So, thank you Universe for sending her to me…...and thank you, Paloma, for being you.
Happy Anniversary. Here’s to many more.
I knew Paloma from her history with Promise House. She not only had gone through our shelter years ago, but had served on the Board of Directors until she moved to Las Vegas. When Sonja, my street outreach manager, told me that Paloma was moving back to Dallas and wanted to interview for the position, I was very hesitant. But, after several conversations and interviews with her, she became my new assistant.....and I totally redeemed myself by hiring her!
Here are just a few of the highlights of her career thus far:
· She totally organized the government grant system (you have NO idea what a mammoth job that is!).
· She has totally taken over grant renewals, including HUD, which NO ONE understands (but her, now!).
· She set up the PH Connect system that we use for meeting and document management and continues to
manage and update it.
· She has created some of the coolest Power Point presentations ever.
· She screens my calls, protects me from weird solicitors, second-guesses what I need before I need it, keeps
all my correspondence catalogued and filed correctly, knows my calendar, and has such a pleasant demeanor
that most people would rather talk to her than me!
· She has served as translator more times than I can count and translates documents into Spanish whenever we
need it.
· She plans and organizes meetings like nobody’s business!
· She ALWAYS gets the catering right!
· She kept an orchid alive for almost 2 years that was given to me as a gift when my step-mother died (if it had
been up to me, that poor orchid would have been dead in a month!).
I’m sure I could go on forever, but here is the best part: I have NEVER heard her say anything but, “I’d be glad to”, “No problem”, “Don’t worry, we can fix it”, “I’ll get right on that”, “I’ll be happy to”, “Do you need me to work late?” Who does that??? From day one she kept a running list of her daily activities (she used to work for a law firm) which she emails to me at the end of each day, along with her plans for the next day. How cool is that??
By now she is probably hiding under her desk, but I can’t help bragging on her. I’ve often said that you can train someone on just about anything. But you absolutely CANNOT train someone to have the kind of attitude Paloma has.
So, thank you Universe for sending her to me…...and thank you, Paloma, for being you.
Happy Anniversary. Here’s to many more.
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