Were You Raised in a Barn??

My daughter FINALLY found a job in Austin. At 20 years of age, she was among the 24.5% of young people who are unemployed in this country. The report of 9.something% unemployment that we all hear about constantly is very misleading, since it applies only to "adults".

Looking for a job is stressful as it is, but these days, it is a total whippin'. Leslie did all the right things.....followed the directions......got many interviews......wrote thank you notes......made follow up calls.......and would get NO RESPONSE FROM ANYONE. Even when they told her they would call her back, THEY DIDN'T. What is that about??? What happened to business etiquette? Are the pickings that great that you don't even have to be civil to another human being anymore?

I can't tell you how discouraging it was for her, and for me having to hear it from her. Total silence. Total rudeness. Trying to answer her questions of how can people be so callous, so uncaring made my blood boil, made me want to call those people up and tell them a thing or two, like, "Were you raised in a barn???", "Were you raised by wolves?" "Have you ever heard of MANNERS??" Instead, all I could say was, "No matter how they act, YOU must do your part and follow good business etiquette. Something will pop."

And, finally, it did. After six months of discouragement, anger, anguish.....of "what's wrong with me?" something did pop. But not without collateral damage, not without a not-very-fun this-is-how-the-real-world-can-be lesson.

The one thing I hope Leslie takes from this is to NEVER treat others as she has been treated this past six months. If she is ever in a position to hire people, to think back on this experience and make sure she is NOT silent, NOT rude, DOES call back when she says she will, ESPECIALLY when she is not going to hire someone. That is the least she can do.

After all, isn't that what we all want? To be acknowledged, to be left with our honor and our egos in tact, even in rejection?

Seems little to ask.

Ten Year Tally

I have been President of Promise House for ten years this month and with the agency 13. Hard to believe. There are days I think I have accomplished absolutely nothing, and then other days when I feel pretty good about what we’ve done. Here’s some of the good stuff:

• I’ve had my same executive team for 9 years.
• I have the BEST executive assistant in the universe.
• We have gone from raising a little over $200,000 in local funds the first
year I took over to now raising over $1,000,000 per year.
• We have had a lot of fun.
• We have had some incredibly funny stories and weird happenings to keep us
from being bored.
• We totally re-branded the agency i.e., new vision, mission, values, new logo
and tag line, new website, new collaterals, banners, the whole 9 yards.
• We jumped into the Social Media world with both feet. I LOVE it!
• I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of the most incredible people across
the country through my involvement with National Council on Youth Policy and
Grant Review.
• We saved our largest state program from total anihilization.
• We’ve served over 40,000 teens and their family members since I took over.
• My Leadership Team (VPs, Managers, and me) has grown tremendously in areas
of conflict resolution, team work across departments, productivity,
connection with and respect for each other.
• Our Street Outreach Team has more than tripled the number of teens brought
into the shelter and transitional living annually. They are awesome!
• We have gone from the best kept secret in Dallas to a pretty-well-known
agency. Long way to go still.
• I have worked with some incredibly dedicated board members over the last 10
years.
• PH continues to have unbelievably dedicated staff.
• The kids—what a blast to be able to interact and hang out with them on a
daily basis.

Here’s Some of the Bad Stuff:
• Government continues to be the bane and life-blood of our existence. With
the recent news of the Office of Adolescent Pregnancy Program totally
closing at the federal level, we are losing our Parents with Promise Program
TOTALLY. The volatility of government funding SUCKS.
• Turn over is still too high at the case manager level. We are working
currently to grade that position to give folks somewhere to go in the agency.
• We STILL cannot seem to get the attention of the important people in
Dallas.
• We still need to grow our board of directors, both in numbers and in
influence.
• We haven’t grown like I want us to. Several attempts at expansion have not
worked out. Still pondering how to do that.
• Raising unrestricted $$ gets harder and harder every year.
• State Government…..enough said.
• Impact of the great recession. Survival mode is not fun.
• Day-to-day grind of never enough, never good enough, never fast enough,
never having time to savor victories or good stuff before something bad
WHAMS us in the face.


So, the rule of feedback is to sandwich bad stuff between good stuff, and end with hope. Therefore, I’ll end with the BEST thing:

I work in an honorable profession, have the honor and privilege of being involved in the lives of some of the most incredible teens on earth, get to work with dedicated and mission-driven staff, get to meet terrific people from across the country, have an incredible network of support when I need it, and, as a colleague from Oklahoma once said, I get to make whatever I want out of this job and the agency.

When I look at it that way, I think the good pretty well Xs out the bad. Here’s to 10 more.

GO MAVS!!

One of Our Own Advances!

Congratulations are in order for Regina Levine, Promise House Transitional Living Program Manager! She has been promoted to manage BOTH the Emergency Shelter AND TLP services for PH.

Regina has been with Promise House eight (8) years and has progressively increased her skills and credentials to be positioned as an expert in the youth services field. She originally came to PH as an intern working on her Masters degree in Counseling from Texas A&M Commerce. Of course we hired her when she finished and has served as Program Manager for several different programs. Along the way, she has become a Licensed Child Care Administrator and a Licensed Child Placement Administrator (both necessary to work with teens who have children). This August, she will receive her SECOND masters degree in social work! She has also participated in federal grant reviews, giving her a broad-spectrum knowledge of programs and grant-writing.

We are thrilled to have been able to promote from within, which is always our first choice and Regina was the perfect candidate. Her experience with teens and with parenting teens is tremendously valuable; especially since we are currently writing a grant to provide emergency shelter services to young teen parents (under the age of 18) and their children. She will be instrumental in helping to design this program.

It is ALWAYS such a thrill for me to watch employees grow and mature in their profession and aspire to advance, especially someone who has worked as hard as Regina has.

So, congratulations once again, Regina! Looking forward to great things from you!

The Ask

My father used to say about his mother, who was a Republican National Committeewoman for years in Arkansas (and who tirelessly worked to get women out to vote), that you never wanted to start a conversation with her, because she would corner you and start asking for money for the Republican Party. I have a feeling my friends and family may be feeling the same way about me!

In my role as President of PH, I certainly have my hand out a lot. And here I am again, touting the golf tournament and auction, asking each of you to dig deep in support of our teens. Asking never gets easier for me. I get the “willies” just like anyone else when it comes to asking folks I know for money. BUT, and it is a very big but, the cause for which I am asking is SO critical and SO important to the future, not only of the teens we serve, but of our community, our state, our nation, that it overrides the fear.

So I am asking. I’m asking my board members, my staff, my friends, my colleagues, my neighbors. I’m asking that you sponsor the tournament. I’m asking that you give us names of potential sponsors. I’m asking that you bid on the auction. I’m asking that you secure auction items for us to add to the auction. I’m asking, and I’m offering you the opportunity to save a teen’s life, to give him hope for a bright future, to help her become a productive and independent citizen of our community.

I’m asking and I’m going to keep on asking. I’ll try not to corner you, however.

Have a great weekend. It’s supposed to be beautiful!

Inspiration Amidst Trial and Tribulation

Amidst all the tribulations of budget cuts, program cuts, outrageous bills being passed, and general dismal news, there are still great and inspirational things happening every day in the non-profit world, facilitated by incredible people. Promise House was recently on the receiving end of one such event.

There is a group in Dallas called The Real Estate Council (TREC), whose members are not only realtors, but other folks that support the industry i.e. attorneys, architects, electrical contractors, etc. Within the group is an Associate Leadership Class, made up of young, promising men and women in the profession. Every year, this class takes on a BIG capital project for a non-profit, and THIS year, Promise House was their beneficiary.

What they did was totally amazing. Our proposal to them was to build a 2,000 square foot storage facility in which to house donations for all of our programs. Well, when they got to Promise House and saw that ½ of the upstairs in our main building was still not finished out, they decided the storage building was not enough, and that they wanted to finish out half of that space as well, for us to use for our teens.

SOOOO, not only did they build our 2,000 square foot storage facility (and build side-walks, plant grass and flowers, and clean up the play area), they TOTALLY created and finished out two rooms upstairs, one for a “store” for our clients and the other (very large) for a multipurpose room for our teens. They erected walls, sheet-rocked and painted, put in HVAC, lighting, carpet, and whatever else was needed to get us green-tagged by the city. Their contribution to PH ended up being well over $100,000.

AND at the dedication ceremony last week, THEY thanked US for being able to do the project for PH! How cool is that??

We have always loved our volunteers, and this project is a very big reason why. Promise House could not do what we do without the help of passionate, committed, creative, and talented volunteers.

I know each of you has similar inspirational stories to tell. I would love to hear them!

The Story Seekers

While I was in Austin last week, I had the privilege of seeing my daughter, Kat’s, new play, The Story Seekers. She wrote the play specifically to fit the grounds of the Elizabet Ney Museum in Hyde Park. What a fabulous scene! The museum itself looks like a castle, and it is set on fantastical grounds with foot bridges, creeks, tree swings, and winding paths—PERFECT for the fantasy she wrote.

The story involves a princess, a Story Teller, and lost children. The princess, Bet, is about to be killed by a mean General who has taken over the kingdom and dictated that NO stories will ever be told again. The kingdom must live only in the present and future—no history allowed! The Story Teller saves her by taking her to a magical place where there are only children. The trick, however, is that he takes their life stories and changes them as he pleases; and only HE can tell stories in this land. The longer they stay with him, the more they forget their stories, until they no longer even know who they were, where they came from, or what their names were.

Of course, two of the children (along with Bet) outsmart the Story Teller, take their stories back, send him running, and restore Bet to her kingdom (very short synopsis of the outcome).

I was so struck watching this fantastical play at the powerful metaphor of stories. I’ve said so many times how difficult it is for the teens at Promise House to maintain their history, to know and remember their stories; and how important we are in anchoring them to a GOOD and HOPEFUL story. I know this is why so many stay in touch with us. We ARE their story. We ARE their history. We ARE the beginning of their GOOD story.

So many of our kids have had their stories stolen, changed, convoluted, erased, forgotten, or damaged by years in the system, moving from place to place, being abused, being lied to, being forgotten. Thank god we can reconnect them, or connect them back to themselves. Hallelujah for stories and for the power to influence them in positive ways.

Aside from the fact that I think Kat is a genius and incredibly talented (where DID she get that??), I am so grateful to have been able to see this fun, magical, and powerful play. It re-confirmed for me how important our work at Promise House is and how fortunate we are to be in the presence of such great young people, my daughter included.

What is YOUR story? How do you keep it alive?

Stressor of the Day - Promise House Style

So......I'm sitting at my desk today and see two police cars in front of our building. They were side by side blocking the street, and it looked like they were just chatting with each other.....UNTIL....I see one of the officers get out of her car and walk toward a white van that was parked incorrectly in front of our building. As she started writing the ticket, I jumped up from my desk, ran down the hall to the lobby, asked whose van it was, found out it belonged to a parent who was bringing her son here for help, told her she was getting a ticket, and ran outside to see if I could stop them from writing it. The mother ran out with me, but we were too late.

The police cars had pulled away. I took the ticket from the windshield--$45.00!! I thought the woman was going to faint. Her son came out with her, and she started talking to him in a foreign language. I couldn't understand the language, but I could certainly understand the tone. She was VERY angry. When I asked her what she said, she told me that she told him it was his fault that she got the ticket, because if she hadn't needed to bring him here, none of this would have happened!

NOW......before you judge this woman harshly for what she said to her son, try to remember the amount of stress she is under and what additional stress was added by this $45.00 ticket. She can't pay that ticket! And if she doesn't pay it in 30 days, the amount doubles, and then if she doesn't pay that, they issue a warrant for her arrest. Just what she needs. I did, however, say that maybe she shouldn't go so far as to say the ticket per se was her son's fault. She agreed and iterated what I already knew.....this was one more stressor she did not need.

About this time, the two police cars had stopped up the block at the stop sign. We ran up to the corner and asked if they could reverse the ticket, since she and her son were clients of Promise House and had NO money and didn't know where to park or that parking that way was illegal. Nope. The officer said they can't "undo" tickets once they've been written, but she could call the number on the back of the ticket, give them the circumstances and see if they would dismiss it. I encouraged her to do so and to have the police call me if they needed verification of the story.

This very frustrating story is a perfect metaphor for what our families go through every day. One barrier after another, never enough money, or time, or food, or clothing, or resources to fix what to most of us would have been a minor inconvenience.

Which is exactly why I jumped up and ran outside to try and stop the police. I KNOW what this will do to this mother, her relationship with her son, and the incredible stress it will put on her financially. I just really hope she calls that number on the back of the ticket and that whoever she talks with that day is feeling compassionate, or that they will at least call me. Keep your fingers crossed.