What is your elevator speech?
Promise House has struggled with this for years.
How do we say what we do in a compelling, meaningful, impactful 30 second blip? I know we can't be the only agency struggling with this; particularly those of us who offer a myriad of services not only to teens, but to adults and families.
So, when someone asks me, "What is Promise House?", my first thought is, "Oh, god, here I go again......how can I do this without their eyes glazing over???"
Options:
"We drag kids off the street and save them".....a bit drastic.
"We shelter homeless, runaway, and at-risk teens"..........BORING.
"We embrace homeless, runaway, and at-risk teens, giving them individualized skills, encouragement, and hope to live a better life".......too long and a bit touchy-feely, even if it is our mission statement!
"We serve kids in crisis".......too short and doesn't tell the whole story.
"We offer a myriad of services for runaway, homeless, and at-risk teens"........again, true but boring.
You get my drift?
How do we get to the heart of what we do? How do we describe in 30 seconds the transformation we see EVERY day with kids who come to us with literally nothing and leave with an education, a job, money, an apartment, and most importantly, self confidence and hope for the future?
How do we say in an elevator ride that the young homeless parents who come to us become GREAT parents, breaking the cycle of poverty, homelessness, repeat pregnancies, and child abuse?
What are 25 words or less than can describe the energy, the creativity, the passion, and the beauty that are embodied in the teens with whom we work?
How do we change people's perceptions about teens in general, and in particular the teens we serve, in two sentences?
I'm stumped. Ideas are welcome.
What is YOUR elevator speech?
Showing posts with label Homeless Teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeless Teens. Show all posts
Friday, October 7, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
The End-All Ain't Gonna End It
So, here is why HUD's end-all to solving the homelessness problem, Permanent Supportive Housing, will NOT end homelessness.
Reason One: The requirements of eligibility for Permanent Supportive Housing i.e., persons with mental or physical disabilities, and chronically homeless individuals and families knocks at least 80% of the homeless population out of the running for housing. The chronically homeless make up only 10 - 15% of the total homeless population, and yet currently receive 90% of services. There is something wrong with this equation!
Reason Two: Permanent Supportive Housing does NOTHING to plug the pipeline into chronic homelessness i.e., homeless teens and young adults, teens aging out of foster care and the juvenile justice system (up to 38% of whom will be homeless at least once in the two years following emancipation). 95% of teens and young adults are NOT chronically homeless (on the street for at least a year or 4 homeless episodes in the past 2 years), and we do not want them labeled as such; BUT they WILL be if they are not assisted now. Additionally, most teens do not qualify as disabled (thank heavens!), and we don't want them labeled as such. The teens at Promise House are in school, working, raising kids, and functioning in the world. But they wouldn't be without our help.
Reason Three: Teens and young adults have very different needs than do chronically homeless adults. They need a phased program that moves from fairly high structure and supervision all the way to independent living, which includes housing and support services. You can't just stick a teen in an apartment, or give a teen a housing voucher or 3 month's rent, say "Go be successful", and expect success.
The only way to truly stop chronic homelessness is to plug the pipeline into it. If you were to ask 20 chronically homeless adults if they were homeless as teens or young adults, at least 15 would say yes.
I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to get. Maybe when the "end homelessness by" deadlines pass and there is still homelessness, folks that make the funding decisions will scratch their heads and wonder why.
Maybe they should ask me.
Reason One: The requirements of eligibility for Permanent Supportive Housing i.e., persons with mental or physical disabilities, and chronically homeless individuals and families knocks at least 80% of the homeless population out of the running for housing. The chronically homeless make up only 10 - 15% of the total homeless population, and yet currently receive 90% of services. There is something wrong with this equation!
Reason Two: Permanent Supportive Housing does NOTHING to plug the pipeline into chronic homelessness i.e., homeless teens and young adults, teens aging out of foster care and the juvenile justice system (up to 38% of whom will be homeless at least once in the two years following emancipation). 95% of teens and young adults are NOT chronically homeless (on the street for at least a year or 4 homeless episodes in the past 2 years), and we do not want them labeled as such; BUT they WILL be if they are not assisted now. Additionally, most teens do not qualify as disabled (thank heavens!), and we don't want them labeled as such. The teens at Promise House are in school, working, raising kids, and functioning in the world. But they wouldn't be without our help.
Reason Three: Teens and young adults have very different needs than do chronically homeless adults. They need a phased program that moves from fairly high structure and supervision all the way to independent living, which includes housing and support services. You can't just stick a teen in an apartment, or give a teen a housing voucher or 3 month's rent, say "Go be successful", and expect success.
The only way to truly stop chronic homelessness is to plug the pipeline into it. If you were to ask 20 chronically homeless adults if they were homeless as teens or young adults, at least 15 would say yes.
I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to get. Maybe when the "end homelessness by" deadlines pass and there is still homelessness, folks that make the funding decisions will scratch their heads and wonder why.
Maybe they should ask me.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Inspiration Amidst Trial and Tribulation
Amidst all the tribulations of budget cuts, program cuts, outrageous bills being passed, and general dismal news, there are still great and inspirational things happening every day in the non-profit world, facilitated by incredible people. Promise House was recently on the receiving end of one such event.
There is a group in Dallas called The Real Estate Council (TREC), whose members are not only realtors, but other folks that support the industry i.e. attorneys, architects, electrical contractors, etc. Within the group is an Associate Leadership Class, made up of young, promising men and women in the profession. Every year, this class takes on a BIG capital project for a non-profit, and THIS year, Promise House was their beneficiary.
What they did was totally amazing. Our proposal to them was to build a 2,000 square foot storage facility in which to house donations for all of our programs. Well, when they got to Promise House and saw that ½ of the upstairs in our main building was still not finished out, they decided the storage building was not enough, and that they wanted to finish out half of that space as well, for us to use for our teens.
SOOOO, not only did they build our 2,000 square foot storage facility (and build side-walks, plant grass and flowers, and clean up the play area), they TOTALLY created and finished out two rooms upstairs, one for a “store” for our clients and the other (very large) for a multipurpose room for our teens. They erected walls, sheet-rocked and painted, put in HVAC, lighting, carpet, and whatever else was needed to get us green-tagged by the city. Their contribution to PH ended up being well over $100,000.
AND at the dedication ceremony last week, THEY thanked US for being able to do the project for PH! How cool is that??
We have always loved our volunteers, and this project is a very big reason why. Promise House could not do what we do without the help of passionate, committed, creative, and talented volunteers.
I know each of you has similar inspirational stories to tell. I would love to hear them!
There is a group in Dallas called The Real Estate Council (TREC), whose members are not only realtors, but other folks that support the industry i.e. attorneys, architects, electrical contractors, etc. Within the group is an Associate Leadership Class, made up of young, promising men and women in the profession. Every year, this class takes on a BIG capital project for a non-profit, and THIS year, Promise House was their beneficiary.
What they did was totally amazing. Our proposal to them was to build a 2,000 square foot storage facility in which to house donations for all of our programs. Well, when they got to Promise House and saw that ½ of the upstairs in our main building was still not finished out, they decided the storage building was not enough, and that they wanted to finish out half of that space as well, for us to use for our teens.
SOOOO, not only did they build our 2,000 square foot storage facility (and build side-walks, plant grass and flowers, and clean up the play area), they TOTALLY created and finished out two rooms upstairs, one for a “store” for our clients and the other (very large) for a multipurpose room for our teens. They erected walls, sheet-rocked and painted, put in HVAC, lighting, carpet, and whatever else was needed to get us green-tagged by the city. Their contribution to PH ended up being well over $100,000.
AND at the dedication ceremony last week, THEY thanked US for being able to do the project for PH! How cool is that??
We have always loved our volunteers, and this project is a very big reason why. Promise House could not do what we do without the help of passionate, committed, creative, and talented volunteers.
I know each of you has similar inspirational stories to tell. I would love to hear them!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The Story Seekers
While I was in Austin last week, I had the privilege of seeing my daughter, Kat’s, new play, The Story Seekers. She wrote the play specifically to fit the grounds of the Elizabet Ney Museum in Hyde Park. What a fabulous scene! The museum itself looks like a castle, and it is set on fantastical grounds with foot bridges, creeks, tree swings, and winding paths—PERFECT for the fantasy she wrote.
The story involves a princess, a Story Teller, and lost children. The princess, Bet, is about to be killed by a mean General who has taken over the kingdom and dictated that NO stories will ever be told again. The kingdom must live only in the present and future—no history allowed! The Story Teller saves her by taking her to a magical place where there are only children. The trick, however, is that he takes their life stories and changes them as he pleases; and only HE can tell stories in this land. The longer they stay with him, the more they forget their stories, until they no longer even know who they were, where they came from, or what their names were.
Of course, two of the children (along with Bet) outsmart the Story Teller, take their stories back, send him running, and restore Bet to her kingdom (very short synopsis of the outcome).
I was so struck watching this fantastical play at the powerful metaphor of stories. I’ve said so many times how difficult it is for the teens at Promise House to maintain their history, to know and remember their stories; and how important we are in anchoring them to a GOOD and HOPEFUL story. I know this is why so many stay in touch with us. We ARE their story. We ARE their history. We ARE the beginning of their GOOD story.
So many of our kids have had their stories stolen, changed, convoluted, erased, forgotten, or damaged by years in the system, moving from place to place, being abused, being lied to, being forgotten. Thank god we can reconnect them, or connect them back to themselves. Hallelujah for stories and for the power to influence them in positive ways.
Aside from the fact that I think Kat is a genius and incredibly talented (where DID she get that??), I am so grateful to have been able to see this fun, magical, and powerful play. It re-confirmed for me how important our work at Promise House is and how fortunate we are to be in the presence of such great young people, my daughter included.
What is YOUR story? How do you keep it alive?
The story involves a princess, a Story Teller, and lost children. The princess, Bet, is about to be killed by a mean General who has taken over the kingdom and dictated that NO stories will ever be told again. The kingdom must live only in the present and future—no history allowed! The Story Teller saves her by taking her to a magical place where there are only children. The trick, however, is that he takes their life stories and changes them as he pleases; and only HE can tell stories in this land. The longer they stay with him, the more they forget their stories, until they no longer even know who they were, where they came from, or what their names were.
Of course, two of the children (along with Bet) outsmart the Story Teller, take their stories back, send him running, and restore Bet to her kingdom (very short synopsis of the outcome).
I was so struck watching this fantastical play at the powerful metaphor of stories. I’ve said so many times how difficult it is for the teens at Promise House to maintain their history, to know and remember their stories; and how important we are in anchoring them to a GOOD and HOPEFUL story. I know this is why so many stay in touch with us. We ARE their story. We ARE their history. We ARE the beginning of their GOOD story.
So many of our kids have had their stories stolen, changed, convoluted, erased, forgotten, or damaged by years in the system, moving from place to place, being abused, being lied to, being forgotten. Thank god we can reconnect them, or connect them back to themselves. Hallelujah for stories and for the power to influence them in positive ways.
Aside from the fact that I think Kat is a genius and incredibly talented (where DID she get that??), I am so grateful to have been able to see this fun, magical, and powerful play. It re-confirmed for me how important our work at Promise House is and how fortunate we are to be in the presence of such great young people, my daughter included.
What is YOUR story? How do you keep it alive?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Stressor of the Day - Promise House Style
So......I'm sitting at my desk today and see two police cars in front of our building. They were side by side blocking the street, and it looked like they were just chatting with each other.....UNTIL....I see one of the officers get out of her car and walk toward a white van that was parked incorrectly in front of our building. As she started writing the ticket, I jumped up from my desk, ran down the hall to the lobby, asked whose van it was, found out it belonged to a parent who was bringing her son here for help, told her she was getting a ticket, and ran outside to see if I could stop them from writing it. The mother ran out with me, but we were too late.
The police cars had pulled away. I took the ticket from the windshield--$45.00!! I thought the woman was going to faint. Her son came out with her, and she started talking to him in a foreign language. I couldn't understand the language, but I could certainly understand the tone. She was VERY angry. When I asked her what she said, she told me that she told him it was his fault that she got the ticket, because if she hadn't needed to bring him here, none of this would have happened!
NOW......before you judge this woman harshly for what she said to her son, try to remember the amount of stress she is under and what additional stress was added by this $45.00 ticket. She can't pay that ticket! And if she doesn't pay it in 30 days, the amount doubles, and then if she doesn't pay that, they issue a warrant for her arrest. Just what she needs. I did, however, say that maybe she shouldn't go so far as to say the ticket per se was her son's fault. She agreed and iterated what I already knew.....this was one more stressor she did not need.
About this time, the two police cars had stopped up the block at the stop sign. We ran up to the corner and asked if they could reverse the ticket, since she and her son were clients of Promise House and had NO money and didn't know where to park or that parking that way was illegal. Nope. The officer said they can't "undo" tickets once they've been written, but she could call the number on the back of the ticket, give them the circumstances and see if they would dismiss it. I encouraged her to do so and to have the police call me if they needed verification of the story.
This very frustrating story is a perfect metaphor for what our families go through every day. One barrier after another, never enough money, or time, or food, or clothing, or resources to fix what to most of us would have been a minor inconvenience.
Which is exactly why I jumped up and ran outside to try and stop the police. I KNOW what this will do to this mother, her relationship with her son, and the incredible stress it will put on her financially. I just really hope she calls that number on the back of the ticket and that whoever she talks with that day is feeling compassionate, or that they will at least call me. Keep your fingers crossed.
The police cars had pulled away. I took the ticket from the windshield--$45.00!! I thought the woman was going to faint. Her son came out with her, and she started talking to him in a foreign language. I couldn't understand the language, but I could certainly understand the tone. She was VERY angry. When I asked her what she said, she told me that she told him it was his fault that she got the ticket, because if she hadn't needed to bring him here, none of this would have happened!
NOW......before you judge this woman harshly for what she said to her son, try to remember the amount of stress she is under and what additional stress was added by this $45.00 ticket. She can't pay that ticket! And if she doesn't pay it in 30 days, the amount doubles, and then if she doesn't pay that, they issue a warrant for her arrest. Just what she needs. I did, however, say that maybe she shouldn't go so far as to say the ticket per se was her son's fault. She agreed and iterated what I already knew.....this was one more stressor she did not need.
About this time, the two police cars had stopped up the block at the stop sign. We ran up to the corner and asked if they could reverse the ticket, since she and her son were clients of Promise House and had NO money and didn't know where to park or that parking that way was illegal. Nope. The officer said they can't "undo" tickets once they've been written, but she could call the number on the back of the ticket, give them the circumstances and see if they would dismiss it. I encouraged her to do so and to have the police call me if they needed verification of the story.
This very frustrating story is a perfect metaphor for what our families go through every day. One barrier after another, never enough money, or time, or food, or clothing, or resources to fix what to most of us would have been a minor inconvenience.
Which is exactly why I jumped up and ran outside to try and stop the police. I KNOW what this will do to this mother, her relationship with her son, and the incredible stress it will put on her financially. I just really hope she calls that number on the back of the ticket and that whoever she talks with that day is feeling compassionate, or that they will at least call me. Keep your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Different Side of the Super Bowl
As all of you know, the Super Bowl is coming to Dallas. Well here’s a side to it that you never hear about….at least publically. My V.P. of Programs, Alex, was contacted this week by the Child Exploitation Unit of the Dallas Police Department for Promise House to be a shelter for under-age prostitutes that get picked up during the Super Bowl. I’ve been haunted thinking about this discussion and the numbers of prostitutes that will be brought in for the Super Bowl. Is this Las Vegas or something? Geez, I simply cannot get my head around this kind of blatant, slimy, behavior engaged in by so many people. The even more horrific thought is the number of under-age prostitutes, both girls and boys, who will brought in to be used and abused.
Promise House is no stranger to helping prostitutes, both under-age and young adults. Thankfully, not in the numbers that are projected to be dealt with during the Super Bowl, but still, the issues are the same. So many get caught up in it simply trying to survive, trying to get something to eat, have someplace to stay. Teens (both boys and girls) 18 and under on the street will be approached by a “pimp” within 48 hours of “arriving” on the street. Lost, hungry, and confused, they get lured in and the downward spiral begins. They are objectified, bought, sold, used and abused in horrific ways.
Thankfully, the Dallas Police Department is beginning to understand the fact that under-age prostitutes are victims, not criminals. Letot Center, the shelter run by the Juvenile Justice Department here in town, is doing some great work with these kids. Instead of being arrested, these kids are now brought to Letot for special programming and help. This is what we will be doing during the Super Bowl. We have no idea how many will come to Promise House, but I’ll let you know how it goes.
These kids are someone’s children. They had hopes and dreams. They didn’t say when they were little, “Gee, I think I want to be on the street and become a prostitute when I grow up.” They certainly didn’t say, “I’m looking forward to being bought and sold and used and abused when I grow up.” They’ve had their childhoods and youth snatched from them in the most traumatic way. Hopefully, while they are with us, we can give them back a little of that youth and some of their hopes and dreams. At the very least, we can offer them a warm bed, good food, clean clothes, a shower, and a listening ear…..all with no strings attached.
Wish us luck.
Promise House is no stranger to helping prostitutes, both under-age and young adults. Thankfully, not in the numbers that are projected to be dealt with during the Super Bowl, but still, the issues are the same. So many get caught up in it simply trying to survive, trying to get something to eat, have someplace to stay. Teens (both boys and girls) 18 and under on the street will be approached by a “pimp” within 48 hours of “arriving” on the street. Lost, hungry, and confused, they get lured in and the downward spiral begins. They are objectified, bought, sold, used and abused in horrific ways.
Thankfully, the Dallas Police Department is beginning to understand the fact that under-age prostitutes are victims, not criminals. Letot Center, the shelter run by the Juvenile Justice Department here in town, is doing some great work with these kids. Instead of being arrested, these kids are now brought to Letot for special programming and help. This is what we will be doing during the Super Bowl. We have no idea how many will come to Promise House, but I’ll let you know how it goes.
These kids are someone’s children. They had hopes and dreams. They didn’t say when they were little, “Gee, I think I want to be on the street and become a prostitute when I grow up.” They certainly didn’t say, “I’m looking forward to being bought and sold and used and abused when I grow up.” They’ve had their childhoods and youth snatched from them in the most traumatic way. Hopefully, while they are with us, we can give them back a little of that youth and some of their hopes and dreams. At the very least, we can offer them a warm bed, good food, clean clothes, a shower, and a listening ear…..all with no strings attached.
Wish us luck.
Monday, January 10, 2011
2011 New Years Resolutions for our Government
Happy New Year, Everyone!
During the holidays, I came up with a small list of resolutions our government should make in 2011 regarding the plight of homeless and runaway teens in our country:
Housing – The US Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Department of Health and Human Services (ACYF/FYSB) should get together to offer funding for housing and support services for our teens. HUD should re-open funds for transitional housing, which is critical for the success of our teens—they are NOT chronically homeless and most do not have a severe enough disability to be eligible for permanent supportive housing—and DHHS, through the Family Youth Services Bureau should offer funds for support services directly linked to the housing funds. These services would include case management, food, clothing, furnishings, medical and dental, family planning, and everything else we all currently provide for these kids. So, come on HUD and DHHS, what do you say???
Top Billing – Homeless and runaway teens and young adults should be DHHS’ and HUD’s top priority. They should resolve that in order to truly end homelessness in this country, these kids will be a priority focus this coming year and for at least the next 10 years.
Congressional Resolve – Both houses of Congress should resolve to end their neglect of these kids, as demonstrated by the paltry funding that continues to be dedicated to them, by resolving to dramatically increase funding to the Runaway/Homeless Youth Act, to transitional housing funds through HUD, and to other programs that serve these teens.
I’m sure there are many more I could up with, but these will do for a start. My BIG question to the Universe, Congress, and anyone else who will listen is, “When will we get that helping young people get off the streets is SOOOOO much cheaper and SOOOO much more effective than waiting until they are 45, addicted to everything on earth, in horrible health, with terrible mental health conditions?? It is SUCH a no-brainer for me,
Unfortunately, I know that I am preaching to the choir here. You all know the story. You see it every day. Somehow, we need to find the time and the voice to make sure that our government knows the story, that they see it EVERY day, and that they DO NOT ignore this most important story.
So, perhaps our New Year’s resolution should be to be the VERY loud, SQEAKY wheel that gets the grease!
Happy LOUD, SQUEAKY New Year!!!
During the holidays, I came up with a small list of resolutions our government should make in 2011 regarding the plight of homeless and runaway teens in our country:
Housing – The US Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Department of Health and Human Services (ACYF/FYSB) should get together to offer funding for housing and support services for our teens. HUD should re-open funds for transitional housing, which is critical for the success of our teens—they are NOT chronically homeless and most do not have a severe enough disability to be eligible for permanent supportive housing—and DHHS, through the Family Youth Services Bureau should offer funds for support services directly linked to the housing funds. These services would include case management, food, clothing, furnishings, medical and dental, family planning, and everything else we all currently provide for these kids. So, come on HUD and DHHS, what do you say???
Top Billing – Homeless and runaway teens and young adults should be DHHS’ and HUD’s top priority. They should resolve that in order to truly end homelessness in this country, these kids will be a priority focus this coming year and for at least the next 10 years.
Congressional Resolve – Both houses of Congress should resolve to end their neglect of these kids, as demonstrated by the paltry funding that continues to be dedicated to them, by resolving to dramatically increase funding to the Runaway/Homeless Youth Act, to transitional housing funds through HUD, and to other programs that serve these teens.
I’m sure there are many more I could up with, but these will do for a start. My BIG question to the Universe, Congress, and anyone else who will listen is, “When will we get that helping young people get off the streets is SOOOOO much cheaper and SOOOO much more effective than waiting until they are 45, addicted to everything on earth, in horrible health, with terrible mental health conditions?? It is SUCH a no-brainer for me,
Unfortunately, I know that I am preaching to the choir here. You all know the story. You see it every day. Somehow, we need to find the time and the voice to make sure that our government knows the story, that they see it EVERY day, and that they DO NOT ignore this most important story.
So, perhaps our New Year’s resolution should be to be the VERY loud, SQEAKY wheel that gets the grease!
Happy LOUD, SQUEAKY New Year!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Best Christmas Tree Ever
I’ve been partying so heartily this month that I completely forgot about blogging. But last Wednesday as we were decorating the Promise House Christmas Tree, I once again became awe-struck by the ability of our teens to be……just kids; and was inspired to tell you.
As we pulled out the decorations, decided how to do the lights, discussed which ornaments to put where, and ate pounds of popcorn, all the trauma, sadness, instability, abuse, fear, and uncertainty of their lives took a very backseat to the fun of the hour. We had babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, young adults, and us old staffers laughing, talking, decorating, and eating together as the tree blossomed into probably our best Christmas Tree Ever!
Even the shy ones got in on the act. With a little coaxing, a very timid 15-year old girl, who hates crowds, accepted the ornaments I brought her and found just the right spot on the tree for them. The older teens were helping the young kids reach to new heights (literally) while the toddlers wobbled around playing with and dropping the shatter-proof (thank goodness) ornaments.
When completed, the tree shone like magic and the kids, stuffed with popcorn and good cheer, shone right along with it. A good time was had by all.
I’ve often said that one of our most important roles in the lives of our kids is to be an anchor in their many-times stormy lives. Although we facilitate family visits, parties, overnight stays, and gift giving during the holidays with our teens and their families, there are always those kids who have no family, whose families fail to show or who disappoint, or kids who can’t be with their family for a variety of reasons. Consequently, it is experiences like the one we shared last Wednesday that serve as the anchor for them; that help them remember they are cared about, even loved. Hopefully, some day when these kids are grown and decorating their own Christmas trees with their families, they will fondly remember a long-ago day of tree decorating at Promise House…..and the sanctuary provided for them on that day.
That is the best Christmas gift for which we could ever hope!
As we pulled out the decorations, decided how to do the lights, discussed which ornaments to put where, and ate pounds of popcorn, all the trauma, sadness, instability, abuse, fear, and uncertainty of their lives took a very backseat to the fun of the hour. We had babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, young adults, and us old staffers laughing, talking, decorating, and eating together as the tree blossomed into probably our best Christmas Tree Ever!
Even the shy ones got in on the act. With a little coaxing, a very timid 15-year old girl, who hates crowds, accepted the ornaments I brought her and found just the right spot on the tree for them. The older teens were helping the young kids reach to new heights (literally) while the toddlers wobbled around playing with and dropping the shatter-proof (thank goodness) ornaments.
When completed, the tree shone like magic and the kids, stuffed with popcorn and good cheer, shone right along with it. A good time was had by all.
I’ve often said that one of our most important roles in the lives of our kids is to be an anchor in their many-times stormy lives. Although we facilitate family visits, parties, overnight stays, and gift giving during the holidays with our teens and their families, there are always those kids who have no family, whose families fail to show or who disappoint, or kids who can’t be with their family for a variety of reasons. Consequently, it is experiences like the one we shared last Wednesday that serve as the anchor for them; that help them remember they are cared about, even loved. Hopefully, some day when these kids are grown and decorating their own Christmas trees with their families, they will fondly remember a long-ago day of tree decorating at Promise House…..and the sanctuary provided for them on that day.
That is the best Christmas gift for which we could ever hope!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Flavors of the Feast
Tomorrow, as I make cornbread dressing and cranberry-orange relish for Thanksgiving (my brother is doing the turkey, thank god!), my thoughts will drift to Thanksgivings long past. Voices and images from those times will appear, some randomly, some triggered by a task, an aroma, a taste, some newly escaped from the cobwebs of my brain: the pre-dinner ritual of polishing silver, washing crystal and china, setting the table just so; my grandmother, Hattye, grinding cranberries and oranges with her ancient grinder (man, I wish I had that grinder!), my mother baking and then drying bread for dressing, the chop, chop, chopping of onion and celery, the constant tasting of everything, and the ambrosia.....food for the gods. Each of these memories flavor this year's delectables, are talked about again and again, and with the talking, are passed on to my daughters for future Thanksgiving dinners.
I wonder if we even know how profound the traditions we create as families are. How crucial they are to our children's lives, to their growth, to their sense of belonging. And how devastating it is when there are none to which a child can anchor himself or herself. I can't imagine not being able to draw from the incredibly rich traditions and stories of my family, not having that history to add girth and foundation to my history, having no backdrop for my life.
And yet, there are thousands upon thousands of kids who come to us every year totally unmoored from family, from their history, from anything positive to draw upon. And as their temporary sanctuaries, it is our job to BE that anchor, that history, that positive; to create memories and traditions that will live on in them, that will give them stories they want to tell their children, traditions they want to emulate.
Thanksgiving is a very big tradition at Promise House.....every year.....and this year will be no different. There will be tons of food, fun, and memories-in-the-making; so that on some future day, when one of our teens is fixing his or her family's Thanksgiving dinner, voices and images of a happy, long-past Thanksgiving at Promise House will appear and will flavor their feast.
I wonder if we even know how profound the traditions we create as families are. How crucial they are to our children's lives, to their growth, to their sense of belonging. And how devastating it is when there are none to which a child can anchor himself or herself. I can't imagine not being able to draw from the incredibly rich traditions and stories of my family, not having that history to add girth and foundation to my history, having no backdrop for my life.
And yet, there are thousands upon thousands of kids who come to us every year totally unmoored from family, from their history, from anything positive to draw upon. And as their temporary sanctuaries, it is our job to BE that anchor, that history, that positive; to create memories and traditions that will live on in them, that will give them stories they want to tell their children, traditions they want to emulate.
Thanksgiving is a very big tradition at Promise House.....every year.....and this year will be no different. There will be tons of food, fun, and memories-in-the-making; so that on some future day, when one of our teens is fixing his or her family's Thanksgiving dinner, voices and images of a happy, long-past Thanksgiving at Promise House will appear and will flavor their feast.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
New Life Stage? We Already Know...
The New York Times Sunday magazine had a very long article about 20-somethings and the new "life stage" proposed by psychologist Jeffrey Arnett. He is calling it "emerging adulthood". Guess what ages this new stage encompasses? Yep, 18 - 24....the age group I have been preaching about for the last several years. Why have I been preaching about them? Because if we don't help these young adults who are aging out of the foster care system and/or the juvenile justice system, up to 45% of whom will be homeless within 2 years of their emancipation--not to mention the thousands of other homeless young adults who are not connected to any system--we will NEVER end homelessness. They ARE the future generations of chronically homeless adults.
Dr. Arnett posits several causes for this new life stage: the need for more education to survive in the information-based economy, fewer entry-level jobs after all that education, young people marrying later, young women waiting to have children, to name a few. The characteristics of this stage include: identity exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in-between, and "a sense of possibility".
The characteristic we see most in the young people with which we work, of course, is instability. They lack the luxury of focusing on education, or self exploration, or possibility, as they spend all of their energy simply surviving. Like Maslow's Heirarchy of needs, until they have their basic needs met, nothing else happens.
Although Arnett's theory in one way seems to be based upon privilege (only those with sturdy support systems have the luxury of "delaying adulthood"), what I really like about it is his insistence that these young adults have very different needs than either adolescents or adults. Although they look grown, the great majority of them are not, which is now being borne out in neurological study of the brain. We now know that the brain does not fully mature until at least age 25, and many times until age 30. Consequently, although these young people are more mature than adolescents, they are NOT adults, as defined by our society.
This research gives validity to my argument that adult homeless shelters are in no way appropriate for homeless young adults ages 18 - 24. However, neither are teen shelters, which operate on rigid schedules with tight supervision and strict curfews. What is needed is a two-pronged approach: a less rigid emergency center AND longer-term transitional housing WITH critically needed support services tailored to this age group i.e., educational support, life skills, parenting skills, credit establishment, family reunification, etc.
As with most other societal ills, we are currently treating the tail and not the dog. If we intervened appropriately in the lives of homeless young adults at this critical stage of between 18 and 24 years of age, we wouldn't see them at age 40 or 45, chronically homeless, addicted, and/or mentally ill (by the way, up to 40% of chronically homeless adults were in the foster care or juvenile justice systems as teens).
And, by the way, it's MUCH cheaper to treat them at 18 than it is at 45.
Why can't we get this???
Dr. Arnett posits several causes for this new life stage: the need for more education to survive in the information-based economy, fewer entry-level jobs after all that education, young people marrying later, young women waiting to have children, to name a few. The characteristics of this stage include: identity exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in-between, and "a sense of possibility".
The characteristic we see most in the young people with which we work, of course, is instability. They lack the luxury of focusing on education, or self exploration, or possibility, as they spend all of their energy simply surviving. Like Maslow's Heirarchy of needs, until they have their basic needs met, nothing else happens.
Although Arnett's theory in one way seems to be based upon privilege (only those with sturdy support systems have the luxury of "delaying adulthood"), what I really like about it is his insistence that these young adults have very different needs than either adolescents or adults. Although they look grown, the great majority of them are not, which is now being borne out in neurological study of the brain. We now know that the brain does not fully mature until at least age 25, and many times until age 30. Consequently, although these young people are more mature than adolescents, they are NOT adults, as defined by our society.
This research gives validity to my argument that adult homeless shelters are in no way appropriate for homeless young adults ages 18 - 24. However, neither are teen shelters, which operate on rigid schedules with tight supervision and strict curfews. What is needed is a two-pronged approach: a less rigid emergency center AND longer-term transitional housing WITH critically needed support services tailored to this age group i.e., educational support, life skills, parenting skills, credit establishment, family reunification, etc.
As with most other societal ills, we are currently treating the tail and not the dog. If we intervened appropriately in the lives of homeless young adults at this critical stage of between 18 and 24 years of age, we wouldn't see them at age 40 or 45, chronically homeless, addicted, and/or mentally ill (by the way, up to 40% of chronically homeless adults were in the foster care or juvenile justice systems as teens).
And, by the way, it's MUCH cheaper to treat them at 18 than it is at 45.
Why can't we get this???
Monday, July 26, 2010
Two Girls, Two Worlds, One Desitnation
So, my darling daughter, Leslie, goes back to Austin to begin her sophomore year at UT on August 18. It’s been a bit of a bumpy summer for both of us, but all will end well. Lorena, Promise House's star Valedictorian of Carter High School, who has lived with us in our Transitional Living program since January, is also going to Austin in August to begin her freshman year at UT.
These two girls could not have come from any more different worlds; Leslie, somewhat spoiled (actually spoiled rotten!), pampered, dearly loved, bright, with many great things handed to her in life; Lorena, abused, passed from relative to relative, fighting for every good thing she has accomplished. And yet…..they are both teenagers, they are both brilliant, courageous young women…..their hopes, dreams, ambitions, fears, anxieties, are very similar. They both have to get “stuff” ready for their dorm room and apartment. They both had to get registered, will have to get books, will have to manage their schedules, their social lives, their money. They both will be navigating unfamiliar territory (Leslie is changing majors).
As different as the worlds from which they come are, they will be in the same world at UT—the great equalizer. Leslie will have me to call with emergencies, sorrows, joys, accomplishments, challenges, problems. Who will Lorena call? She will call US. She knows she can call Regina, her Program Manager or Sherlyn, her case manager or me or anyone here at Promise House anytime with any question, problem, accomplishment, great news, etc.
For holidays, Leslie will come to her home. Where will Lorena go? She will come to her home…..with Promise House. We have reserved a room for her in one of the TLP houses, so that she will always have a place to come home to while she is in college. And, she will help mentor the younger girls in the house while she is home. Pretty darn cool, huh? Chokes me up a bit.
I don’t know if Lorena has gone shopping for her dorm stuff, yet, but I know Regina and Sherlyn will get that done with her. I’ve told them that if they need my help getting Lorena down to Austin to let me know. Leslie and I will be going anyway, and I’m sure we can cram some more stuff in one of our cars.
I’m tellin’ you…….I just love my job.
These two girls could not have come from any more different worlds; Leslie, somewhat spoiled (actually spoiled rotten!), pampered, dearly loved, bright, with many great things handed to her in life; Lorena, abused, passed from relative to relative, fighting for every good thing she has accomplished. And yet…..they are both teenagers, they are both brilliant, courageous young women…..their hopes, dreams, ambitions, fears, anxieties, are very similar. They both have to get “stuff” ready for their dorm room and apartment. They both had to get registered, will have to get books, will have to manage their schedules, their social lives, their money. They both will be navigating unfamiliar territory (Leslie is changing majors).
As different as the worlds from which they come are, they will be in the same world at UT—the great equalizer. Leslie will have me to call with emergencies, sorrows, joys, accomplishments, challenges, problems. Who will Lorena call? She will call US. She knows she can call Regina, her Program Manager or Sherlyn, her case manager or me or anyone here at Promise House anytime with any question, problem, accomplishment, great news, etc.
For holidays, Leslie will come to her home. Where will Lorena go? She will come to her home…..with Promise House. We have reserved a room for her in one of the TLP houses, so that she will always have a place to come home to while she is in college. And, she will help mentor the younger girls in the house while she is home. Pretty darn cool, huh? Chokes me up a bit.
I don’t know if Lorena has gone shopping for her dorm stuff, yet, but I know Regina and Sherlyn will get that done with her. I’ve told them that if they need my help getting Lorena down to Austin to let me know. Leslie and I will be going anyway, and I’m sure we can cram some more stuff in one of our cars.
I’m tellin’ you…….I just love my job.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Sometimes It's Really Hard to Say Goodbye
Ashley had been with us in the shelter for about three months. She left today, and we are all sad, hopeful, and anxiously awaiting news of how she does with her mom.
Ashley came to us from a foster placement, because her foster parent could not handle both Ashley and her baby. So, Ashley stayed with us and the baby in foster care (I’m not sure why they would not place her and the baby with us), but luckily, Ashley got to see her baby regularly.
She made great strides while with us. She graduated from High School, became a leader among her peers, got a job with the Texas Network of Youth Services interviewing homeless teens for a research study, worked hard in counseling, got stabilized on the correct meds, and we all fell in love with her.
Since she is in the custody of Child Protective Services, it is their decision as to her next placement. We tried to get them to place her and her baby with us at Wesley Inn, but evidently, she still has life skills she needs to acquire before they will reunite her and her baby. At any rate, if she does well with her mom in the next several months, CPS has said she can have the baby back. Of course, we’ve told her to call us at any time if she needs us, and Alex met with her and gave her all sorts of fatherly advice (take your meds, don’t get in trouble, call us if you need us, etc.).
So say a prayer, send a good thought, or do whatever you do to hope for good things for this child. Cause that’s what she is, and she has become our child over the last three months. And….it’s very hard to let her go…..and sometimes it's just really hard to say goodbye.
Ashley came to us from a foster placement, because her foster parent could not handle both Ashley and her baby. So, Ashley stayed with us and the baby in foster care (I’m not sure why they would not place her and the baby with us), but luckily, Ashley got to see her baby regularly.
She made great strides while with us. She graduated from High School, became a leader among her peers, got a job with the Texas Network of Youth Services interviewing homeless teens for a research study, worked hard in counseling, got stabilized on the correct meds, and we all fell in love with her.
Since she is in the custody of Child Protective Services, it is their decision as to her next placement. We tried to get them to place her and her baby with us at Wesley Inn, but evidently, she still has life skills she needs to acquire before they will reunite her and her baby. At any rate, if she does well with her mom in the next several months, CPS has said she can have the baby back. Of course, we’ve told her to call us at any time if she needs us, and Alex met with her and gave her all sorts of fatherly advice (take your meds, don’t get in trouble, call us if you need us, etc.).
So say a prayer, send a good thought, or do whatever you do to hope for good things for this child. Cause that’s what she is, and she has become our child over the last three months. And….it’s very hard to let her go…..and sometimes it's just really hard to say goodbye.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
We're Crowing!!
Promise House has lots to crow about lately. Like proud parents, we are bursting at the seams with pride over the success of our graduates! Huge congratulations go out to the following teens for their commitment, tenacity, courage, and brilliance in overcoming countless obstacles and challenges to reach their goals:
Lorena - Valedictorian of Carter High School - Attending UT Austin in the fall with FULL scholarship!!
Courtney - Graduated from Duncanville High School and will attend community college in the fall.
Mustaque - Graduated from Grand Prairie High School. He would have been Salutatorian of his class except for the disruption to his classes while he was on the street. He will attend the University of Illinois on FULL scholarship!!
Shanqwuisia - Completed her GED
Ashley - Graduated from High School
Joseph - Graduated from DeSoto High School
Shanita - Graduated from Dental Assistant School
Congratulations go out, also, to the Promise House staff who work directly with these teens every day. It is because of your belief in their promise that each of these teens was able to succeed. I hope you know what a powerful presence in their lives you are.
I've said so many times how much we love these kids. Teens get such a bad rap on so many levels. Yet, here is living proof of the unstoppable spirit and strength of even the most challenged.
We expect great things from each of our teens. And if they stay with us, work the program, do the deal, they succeed beyond their wildest imaginings.
I've often said that we have future astronauts, artists, architects, teachers, actors, and even a U.S. President or two at Promise House. Well, I think Lorena may just end up in the White House as the first female U.S. President. Wouldn't that be something (but no pressure, Lorena!).
Whatever these kids choose for their futures, they will succeed. And most importantly, I know they will lend a helping hand to kids coming up behind them bearing similar burdens, facing similar challenges.
THAT is TRUE success.
Lorena - Valedictorian of Carter High School - Attending UT Austin in the fall with FULL scholarship!!
Courtney - Graduated from Duncanville High School and will attend community college in the fall.
Mustaque - Graduated from Grand Prairie High School. He would have been Salutatorian of his class except for the disruption to his classes while he was on the street. He will attend the University of Illinois on FULL scholarship!!
Shanqwuisia - Completed her GED
Ashley - Graduated from High School
Joseph - Graduated from DeSoto High School
Shanita - Graduated from Dental Assistant School
Congratulations go out, also, to the Promise House staff who work directly with these teens every day. It is because of your belief in their promise that each of these teens was able to succeed. I hope you know what a powerful presence in their lives you are.
I've said so many times how much we love these kids. Teens get such a bad rap on so many levels. Yet, here is living proof of the unstoppable spirit and strength of even the most challenged.
We expect great things from each of our teens. And if they stay with us, work the program, do the deal, they succeed beyond their wildest imaginings.
I've often said that we have future astronauts, artists, architects, teachers, actors, and even a U.S. President or two at Promise House. Well, I think Lorena may just end up in the White House as the first female U.S. President. Wouldn't that be something (but no pressure, Lorena!).
Whatever these kids choose for their futures, they will succeed. And most importantly, I know they will lend a helping hand to kids coming up behind them bearing similar burdens, facing similar challenges.
THAT is TRUE success.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A 12-Year Old Philanthropist??
What possesses a 12-year old kid to strike out across America on foot on behalf of homeless kids? And how does he talk his entire family into joining his crusade? I'm not sure I have the answers to those questions yet, because Zach Bonner, the kid in question, is so very quiet and reserved about his mission.
He and his team, The Little Red Wagon Foundation, came to Promise House last week on their way across the country. Zach is a typical 12-year old in many ways, and oh-so a-typical in so many others. With flaming red hair and crystal blue eyes, he politely shook my hand upon introduction and looked to his big brother, Matthew, before answering any question. When I asked him why he decided to do this, I never really got an answer. "Well, I started in 2004 helping victims of Hurricane Charlie and ........." His answer sorta faded into the woodwork (just like ALL 12-year olds' answers), so I still don't know why exactly he became passionate about helping homeless kids.
Here's what I do know. He created the Little Red Wagon Foundation and is currently engaged in his "Walk Across America" to raise awareness about and funds for homeless kids. He does school on-line, his sister Kellie and brother Matthew trade off handling PR, logistics, and shepherding him across the country. His mother, Linda, travels with him in an RV. They have a REALLY cute VW bug decked out with the foundation logo and an actual red wagon on top! How cool is that?
Last Thursday, he took the PH shelter teens to Six Flags for a fun-filled day (yes, right in the middle of the monsoon). Typical 12-year old behavior: "Mom, I TOLD you I did not want to get wet on any of the rides, and I got REALLY wet on that last one (like it was her fault!)." A-typical 12-year old behavior: to my shelter manager, "I am so sorry the film crew is late. We are off schedule, and I know that is inconvenient for you." What 12-year old says stuff like that??
On the tour of PH, he was very subdued until we got upstairs to the classrooms. Dallas ISD furnishes us with two certified teachers, computers, smart boards, and TONS of books and supplies for our classrooms. He lit up like a Christmas tree! "Wow! It is so cool that the kids don't have to leave here to go to school! And a Smart Board! How cool is that?"
He and his crew went out with our Street Outreach team on Friday night. He was VERY excited to get a Street Outreach t-shirt (seriously?), as was the entire film crew (really, seriously???). According to my SO manager, Sonja, they had a fabulous time talking to kids, asking questions, and visiting the places we frequent. Supposedly, they've had the best time with us of those agencies they have visited (could be blowing smoke, but I doubt it, cause we really are tons of fun to be around!).
They are headed across the Southwestern US, headed for California with ETA of October. It's gonna be a REALLY long, hot summer for them. They have a film crew with them documenting Zach's travels. When the film comes out, I'll let you know.
It really is unbelievable what kids can do. Zach has the support and love of his family to back him, and there is no telling what other great things he will accomplish in his life-time. But even kids with NO support can do great things.......like graduate Valedictorian of her class.....graduate from nursing school and become an Army nurse.....complete a degree in Electrical Engineering from UTD....attend nursing school while raising a child.....complete Mortuary School and own a funeral home.....be happily married and have children that are loved and supported.
These are all true examples from lives of teens that have been at Promise House. Defying the odds, overcoming unbelievable obstacles and challenges, becoming brilliant and unforgettable, they have already left their mark on life in such an outstanding way and will continue to do so for a very long time.
Maybe I do know why Zach is walking across America for these kids.
Check out Zach at: http://www.littleredwagonfoundation.com/.
He and his team, The Little Red Wagon Foundation, came to Promise House last week on their way across the country. Zach is a typical 12-year old in many ways, and oh-so a-typical in so many others. With flaming red hair and crystal blue eyes, he politely shook my hand upon introduction and looked to his big brother, Matthew, before answering any question. When I asked him why he decided to do this, I never really got an answer. "Well, I started in 2004 helping victims of Hurricane Charlie and ........." His answer sorta faded into the woodwork (just like ALL 12-year olds' answers), so I still don't know why exactly he became passionate about helping homeless kids.
Here's what I do know. He created the Little Red Wagon Foundation and is currently engaged in his "Walk Across America" to raise awareness about and funds for homeless kids. He does school on-line, his sister Kellie and brother Matthew trade off handling PR, logistics, and shepherding him across the country. His mother, Linda, travels with him in an RV. They have a REALLY cute VW bug decked out with the foundation logo and an actual red wagon on top! How cool is that?
Last Thursday, he took the PH shelter teens to Six Flags for a fun-filled day (yes, right in the middle of the monsoon). Typical 12-year old behavior: "Mom, I TOLD you I did not want to get wet on any of the rides, and I got REALLY wet on that last one (like it was her fault!)." A-typical 12-year old behavior: to my shelter manager, "I am so sorry the film crew is late. We are off schedule, and I know that is inconvenient for you." What 12-year old says stuff like that??
On the tour of PH, he was very subdued until we got upstairs to the classrooms. Dallas ISD furnishes us with two certified teachers, computers, smart boards, and TONS of books and supplies for our classrooms. He lit up like a Christmas tree! "Wow! It is so cool that the kids don't have to leave here to go to school! And a Smart Board! How cool is that?"
He and his crew went out with our Street Outreach team on Friday night. He was VERY excited to get a Street Outreach t-shirt (seriously?), as was the entire film crew (really, seriously???). According to my SO manager, Sonja, they had a fabulous time talking to kids, asking questions, and visiting the places we frequent. Supposedly, they've had the best time with us of those agencies they have visited (could be blowing smoke, but I doubt it, cause we really are tons of fun to be around!).
They are headed across the Southwestern US, headed for California with ETA of October. It's gonna be a REALLY long, hot summer for them. They have a film crew with them documenting Zach's travels. When the film comes out, I'll let you know.
It really is unbelievable what kids can do. Zach has the support and love of his family to back him, and there is no telling what other great things he will accomplish in his life-time. But even kids with NO support can do great things.......like graduate Valedictorian of her class.....graduate from nursing school and become an Army nurse.....complete a degree in Electrical Engineering from UTD....attend nursing school while raising a child.....complete Mortuary School and own a funeral home.....be happily married and have children that are loved and supported.
These are all true examples from lives of teens that have been at Promise House. Defying the odds, overcoming unbelievable obstacles and challenges, becoming brilliant and unforgettable, they have already left their mark on life in such an outstanding way and will continue to do so for a very long time.
Maybe I do know why Zach is walking across America for these kids.
Check out Zach at: http://www.littleredwagonfoundation.com/.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Building is on Fire!
Grim news for kids aging out of Foster Care. A recent study (Youth Today's most recent issue) of 600 midwestern foster care alumni who were tracked beginning at age 17, and who are now 23, showed the following results:
1. 94% did not have even a two-year college diploma.
2. Over 1/2 were unemployed.
3. Eight in ten males had been arrested at least once.
4. 2/3 of the young women had at least one child.
5. 44% of males were responsible for parenting a child.
6. 1/4 had been homeless at least one time.
7. Over 1/2 had serious, untreated mental health issues.
Geez....where do I begin? We have been hearing similar statistics in the youth services field for years, so the results of this study are no surprise to me. What continues to surprise me, however, is how totally unresponsive government and the private sector continue to be regarding the plight of these kids. It truly baffles my mind on a daily basis how we think we can really end homelessness without attending to these kids. How many different ways do you have to say, "FIRE!" before people finally start to leave the building?! These kids are burning right before our very eyes, and we just continue to sit around and pretend they don't exist. Will SOMEONE please explain that to me????
My last blog post had a long list of "what needs to happen to solve this problem", so I won't go into that again. What I will say again is that these are kids who were supposed to be taken care of by the state, who were removed from their homes through no fault of their own, who were bounced around their entire lives, who were caught in the unbelievable web of bureaucracy that is government, and then who were flung from the web and told to fly......but given no wings with which to do it. It makes my head explode.
How can we as a nation be so uncaring? How can we continue to allow our legislatures to cut critically needed services for these kids, or even worse, ignore the fact that services like transitional living programs are so desperately needed?
Sometime I'd like to do an informal study. I'd like to sit a group of people down and show them various slides of animals, babies, children, teens, and young adults......all of whom needed rescuing from some type of abusive or life-threatening situation. I would bet my house that teens and young adults would be the LEAST chosen group to be saved. We care more about puppies than we do these kids!
Until we face THAT reality, the reality that as a whole, we just don't really like teens, especially those who look weird or scary or angry; or at the least, we just don't think about them at all when we think of groups that need help; until we face that and the fact that even though we may not like them, they still need our help; and the reality that up to 48% of chronically homeless adults have history in the foster care system (if you don't like them as teens, wait til you get to deal with them as chronically substance abusing, mentally ill adults!), I guess we'll just keep pretending the building is not really on fire.,
As for me, I'm leaving the building! I hope some of you will come with me.
1. 94% did not have even a two-year college diploma.
2. Over 1/2 were unemployed.
3. Eight in ten males had been arrested at least once.
4. 2/3 of the young women had at least one child.
5. 44% of males were responsible for parenting a child.
6. 1/4 had been homeless at least one time.
7. Over 1/2 had serious, untreated mental health issues.
Geez....where do I begin? We have been hearing similar statistics in the youth services field for years, so the results of this study are no surprise to me. What continues to surprise me, however, is how totally unresponsive government and the private sector continue to be regarding the plight of these kids. It truly baffles my mind on a daily basis how we think we can really end homelessness without attending to these kids. How many different ways do you have to say, "FIRE!" before people finally start to leave the building?! These kids are burning right before our very eyes, and we just continue to sit around and pretend they don't exist. Will SOMEONE please explain that to me????
My last blog post had a long list of "what needs to happen to solve this problem", so I won't go into that again. What I will say again is that these are kids who were supposed to be taken care of by the state, who were removed from their homes through no fault of their own, who were bounced around their entire lives, who were caught in the unbelievable web of bureaucracy that is government, and then who were flung from the web and told to fly......but given no wings with which to do it. It makes my head explode.
How can we as a nation be so uncaring? How can we continue to allow our legislatures to cut critically needed services for these kids, or even worse, ignore the fact that services like transitional living programs are so desperately needed?
Sometime I'd like to do an informal study. I'd like to sit a group of people down and show them various slides of animals, babies, children, teens, and young adults......all of whom needed rescuing from some type of abusive or life-threatening situation. I would bet my house that teens and young adults would be the LEAST chosen group to be saved. We care more about puppies than we do these kids!
Until we face THAT reality, the reality that as a whole, we just don't really like teens, especially those who look weird or scary or angry; or at the least, we just don't think about them at all when we think of groups that need help; until we face that and the fact that even though we may not like them, they still need our help; and the reality that up to 48% of chronically homeless adults have history in the foster care system (if you don't like them as teens, wait til you get to deal with them as chronically substance abusing, mentally ill adults!), I guess we'll just keep pretending the building is not really on fire.,
As for me, I'm leaving the building! I hope some of you will come with me.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
How to REALLY End Homelessness
There has been positive press lately about the Annual Homeless Count conducted by the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance. Stories have described the progress made in providing housing for chronically homeless adults, the success of the Bridge (the homeless assistance center), and the work of many influential individuals in the community to help end homelessness. Mike Rawlings, the Homeless Czar, said that although we haven't won the race yet, we can at least see the finish line.
There HAS been much progress made....BUT.....and it is a very big BUT.....once again a vital component has been left out of the conversation, out of the stories, out of the press. The only way to truly end chronic homelessness is to stop the pipeline into homelessness....the biggest one of which is the 20,000 eighteen year olds who age out of the foster care system every year in the United States.
The statistics are dismal. Within two years of aging out, up to 48% of these teens will have been homeless at least once. One in four will be incarcerated. Only 58% of foster youth receive highschool diplomas as compared to 87% of the total teen population, making them very UNemployable.
Worse than these statistics, though, is the fact that these kids know NOTHING about how to survive in life (the failure of the Foster Care System is another story). Without intense support, they flounder, they drift, they become the next generation of chronically homeless aduts. IN FACT, a significant percentage of chronically homeless adults were in the foster care system as kids!
The equation seems easy enough to me. Aging out with no support equals high risk of becoming homeless. Why, then, have we created solutions only at the end result i.e., chronically homeless adults, but none for shutting the door INTO homelessness through support for the young people who are most at risk of becoming the next generation of chronically homeless adults?
The tragedy of this is, they are in this highest risk category THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN. They were removed from their homes with no say in the matter, most likely shuffled through many different placements throughout their young lives, and then told "Bye!" at age 18.
AND, instead of helping them THEN, when prevention services can have great impact at a reasonable cost, we wait until they are deep into chronic homelessness, mental illness, substance abuse, etc....when the cost of help for them is extraordinary! What is wrong with us?!
To win this race, it is time NOW to turn our attention to these kids. Here is what needs to happen:
There HAS been much progress made....BUT.....and it is a very big BUT.....once again a vital component has been left out of the conversation, out of the stories, out of the press. The only way to truly end chronic homelessness is to stop the pipeline into homelessness....the biggest one of which is the 20,000 eighteen year olds who age out of the foster care system every year in the United States.
The statistics are dismal. Within two years of aging out, up to 48% of these teens will have been homeless at least once. One in four will be incarcerated. Only 58% of foster youth receive highschool diplomas as compared to 87% of the total teen population, making them very UNemployable.
Worse than these statistics, though, is the fact that these kids know NOTHING about how to survive in life (the failure of the Foster Care System is another story). Without intense support, they flounder, they drift, they become the next generation of chronically homeless aduts. IN FACT, a significant percentage of chronically homeless adults were in the foster care system as kids!
The equation seems easy enough to me. Aging out with no support equals high risk of becoming homeless. Why, then, have we created solutions only at the end result i.e., chronically homeless adults, but none for shutting the door INTO homelessness through support for the young people who are most at risk of becoming the next generation of chronically homeless adults?
The tragedy of this is, they are in this highest risk category THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN. They were removed from their homes with no say in the matter, most likely shuffled through many different placements throughout their young lives, and then told "Bye!" at age 18.
AND, instead of helping them THEN, when prevention services can have great impact at a reasonable cost, we wait until they are deep into chronic homelessness, mental illness, substance abuse, etc....when the cost of help for them is extraordinary! What is wrong with us?!
To win this race, it is time NOW to turn our attention to these kids. Here is what needs to happen:
- HUD (The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development) needs to lift its restrictions on the type of new projects Continuum of Cares can propose. Currently, the only new projects eligible are permanent supportive housing projects, which are for chronically homeless adults with a disability. Eighteen - 24 year old kids are too young to qualify for chronic homeless status and most do not have a long-term disabling condition. Transitional housing projects for this specific age group should not only be allowed, but encouraged or mandated by HUD.
- Congress should appropriate MUCH more funding for the Runaway, Homelesss Youth Act, through the Department of Health and Human Services, in particular the Transitional Living Program funding. Further, DHHS should lift its restriction on this funding that disallows foster youth from taking advantage of these transitional living programs.
- Every state should have a line-item in their budget specifically for transitional housing funds WITH supportive services for this age group. The State of Texas, through the Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs, agreed to funding for several large cities to help end homelessness. However, the funds were for chronic homelessness.....again.
- Every county and city should channel funding into transitional housing projects for homeless young people, again, WITH supportive services. Dallas County decided to divert all its Emergency Shelter Grant funding as of January 2010 to the Bridge, instead of dividing it between several shelters, as it had done in the past. Again, this funding now will help only chronically homeless adults.
- Mike Rawlings, Homeless Czar, Mike Faenza, CEO of Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance, John Castle, incoming Chair of the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance Board of Directors, the MDHA Board of Directors, and all agencies who are members of the alliance MUST turn our attention to these kids and ensure they are taken care of . It's time, and it's the next logical step. Aside from the moral issue of ignoring these kids, the economics of prevention v.s. the economics of long-term intervention are stunning. Why can't we get this?
- The Dallas Morning News needs to turn its attention long-term to this group of homeless young people. The News' influence in this city can go a very long way to bringing attention and funding to this issue.
- We need the influential individuals in this city (you know who you are) to rally around the cause of these homeless young people just as you did for the cause to end chronic homelessness. These kids are the missing piece to completing the task.
- Every discussion regarding ending homelessness MUST include solutions for this age group. AND institutions that regularly deal with young people i.e., school systems, colleges, churches, should be at the table and should be offering help.
It would truly be a shame to be crossing the finish line of the race and think we have won, only to look over our shoulder and see thousands of homeless young people coming up fast behind us.
Is that what we want?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Who Protects Teens?
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.
When we hear "child abuse", we normally associate it with young children. However, there is a large group of kids that is mostly ignored who endure many kinds of abuse from family members, peers, institutions, churches, and communities. Teens continue to be left out of the child abuse discussion; and yet, 95% of the teens who come to Promise House have experienced some form of abuse....recently....not just when they were young. Abuses such as: being hit or slapped by a parent repeatedly; sexual assault by a parent, step-parent, family acquaintance, or peer; being kicked out of their home because they are gay or lesbian, or pregnant, or are old enough to "fend for themselves"; being "pimped out" by parents or other adults; living with drug addicted adults; being used as "drug runners".....the list goes on and on.
Why does concern for kids stop at age 13? Where are the systems to protect these young people? Child Protective Services rarely rates an abuse call about a teen as Priority 1--partly due to the overwhelming number of abuse cases, period. I guess they figure teens have a better chance of saving themselves than does a child. BUT, and this is a BIG but.....that is rarely the case. Very few teens are actually able to escape an abusive situation on their own---think about it---where are they going to go, besides the street??
I've said it many times....just because teens have grown-up bodies.....it doesn't mean they are grown up. They still love getting stuffed animals when they come here; love being read to, getting their hair brushed, doing "make believe" nails and hair, playing silly games. They still cry at night, are still scared of the dark, still have bad dreams. They are kids. Yes, they are big....sometimes REALLY big....but they are kids....in need of protection.
Please remember them in the discussions about child abuse this month. And, please remember, they need our protection EVERY month, not just in Child Abuse Prevention Month.
When we hear "child abuse", we normally associate it with young children. However, there is a large group of kids that is mostly ignored who endure many kinds of abuse from family members, peers, institutions, churches, and communities. Teens continue to be left out of the child abuse discussion; and yet, 95% of the teens who come to Promise House have experienced some form of abuse....recently....not just when they were young. Abuses such as: being hit or slapped by a parent repeatedly; sexual assault by a parent, step-parent, family acquaintance, or peer; being kicked out of their home because they are gay or lesbian, or pregnant, or are old enough to "fend for themselves"; being "pimped out" by parents or other adults; living with drug addicted adults; being used as "drug runners".....the list goes on and on.
Why does concern for kids stop at age 13? Where are the systems to protect these young people? Child Protective Services rarely rates an abuse call about a teen as Priority 1--partly due to the overwhelming number of abuse cases, period. I guess they figure teens have a better chance of saving themselves than does a child. BUT, and this is a BIG but.....that is rarely the case. Very few teens are actually able to escape an abusive situation on their own---think about it---where are they going to go, besides the street??
I've said it many times....just because teens have grown-up bodies.....it doesn't mean they are grown up. They still love getting stuffed animals when they come here; love being read to, getting their hair brushed, doing "make believe" nails and hair, playing silly games. They still cry at night, are still scared of the dark, still have bad dreams. They are kids. Yes, they are big....sometimes REALLY big....but they are kids....in need of protection.
Please remember them in the discussions about child abuse this month. And, please remember, they need our protection EVERY month, not just in Child Abuse Prevention Month.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
New Beginnings
Today is March 1, and that means Spring can't be that far away! I learned this morning that Daylight Savings Time starts Sunday, March 14, AND I saw jonquils blooming yesterday. Now, I know that I could never be so lucky as to think we won't have any more crummy weather. But, by the time March gets here, I feel like there is at least light at the end of the tunnel. Sun is shining today, and that is ALWAYS good news.
We associate Spring with new beginnings, new life, hope. My father always has a bunch of new foals in the Spring, hibernating animals venture forth with their new families, rivers swell with melting ice, grass grows, leaves turn green, flowers bloom.....the earth wakes up. What a burst of life!
And speaking of new beginnings and a new life, I just heard from one of our case managers that she is moving to Austin to work with foster kids who are aging out of the care of the Department of Family and Protective Services. She is a former foster youth herself and has an incredibly deep passion to help these aging-out teens know what services are available to them as they transition from the care of the state to being on their own.
Did you know that foster teens are eligible for tuition waivers for college? Or that they are supposed to get a transition allowance? Or that they can stay in care as long as they are in school if they want to? Or, that they can go back into care once they have aged out if they find they aren't making it on their own? Most foster teens have no idea that these services are available to them. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but Courtney, our case manager, knows EVERY service for which they are eligible.
Although her moving to Austin is a real loss for us, she is living her dream and will have such a meaningful impact on the lives of young people in the foster care system. She came to see me today to thank me for the opportunity to work with our teens at Promise House. I think we are the lucky ones. With her heart and passion for this work, she will go far.
What a thrill it is for me to see our young employees progress through their careers. Even though Promise House is many times the first stop on their ladder to success, watching them gain experience, confidence, and expertise here that they will carry with them throughout their careers is well worth it.
Like many of our teens, our young employees may move on from Promise House; but they carry us in their hearts forever. I'm not quite sure why, but it is VERY hard to ever really leave PH.
There are always endings before beginnings. The end of winter brings spring. The end of service at Promise House brings a new opportunity, the opening of a new door. Another young professional will join the Promise House family, and life at PH goes on. And.....spring is almost here!
We associate Spring with new beginnings, new life, hope. My father always has a bunch of new foals in the Spring, hibernating animals venture forth with their new families, rivers swell with melting ice, grass grows, leaves turn green, flowers bloom.....the earth wakes up. What a burst of life!
And speaking of new beginnings and a new life, I just heard from one of our case managers that she is moving to Austin to work with foster kids who are aging out of the care of the Department of Family and Protective Services. She is a former foster youth herself and has an incredibly deep passion to help these aging-out teens know what services are available to them as they transition from the care of the state to being on their own.
Did you know that foster teens are eligible for tuition waivers for college? Or that they are supposed to get a transition allowance? Or that they can stay in care as long as they are in school if they want to? Or, that they can go back into care once they have aged out if they find they aren't making it on their own? Most foster teens have no idea that these services are available to them. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but Courtney, our case manager, knows EVERY service for which they are eligible.
Although her moving to Austin is a real loss for us, she is living her dream and will have such a meaningful impact on the lives of young people in the foster care system. She came to see me today to thank me for the opportunity to work with our teens at Promise House. I think we are the lucky ones. With her heart and passion for this work, she will go far.
What a thrill it is for me to see our young employees progress through their careers. Even though Promise House is many times the first stop on their ladder to success, watching them gain experience, confidence, and expertise here that they will carry with them throughout their careers is well worth it.
Like many of our teens, our young employees may move on from Promise House; but they carry us in their hearts forever. I'm not quite sure why, but it is VERY hard to ever really leave PH.
There are always endings before beginnings. The end of winter brings spring. The end of service at Promise House brings a new opportunity, the opening of a new door. Another young professional will join the Promise House family, and life at PH goes on. And.....spring is almost here!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Alot of Help From Our Friends
People ask me all the time how we do the work we do. Well, actually, we do it with a lot of help from our friends. Through our many collaborations, Promise House provides over $1,000,000 worth of in-kind services to our teens and families every year! If we had to pay for these services, we'd be in big trouble, and our expenses would almost double.
So, what are these services? Well, when you think of everything it takes to raise a child, that is what we provide. Here are just a few:
So, what are these services? Well, when you think of everything it takes to raise a child, that is what we provide. Here are just a few:
- Medical Services through the Parkland HOMES Van and Parkland Hospital Services
- Dental services through the First Presbyterian Stewpot's dental program and Parkland's Dental Van
- Food through the North Texas Food Bank
- Child care slots through the Vogel Alcove
- STD education through Planned Parenthood
- Hygiene supplies from individual and corporate contributors
- Shoes through the Wilkinson Center's annual shoe drive via Pay Less Shoes
- Two on-site DISD classrooms with certified DISD teachers
- Baby supplies from Captain Hope's Kids
- Baby showers from various churches
On top of those listed above, Promise House is connected to ALL metroplex colleges and universities. Via our training institute, graduate and post-graduate level psychology, social work, marriage and family, and counseling interns receive free clinical supervision in return for providing counseling to ALL our teens and family members. Talk about win-win!
And, we continue to develop new collaborations. This summer, we will be working with the University of Dallas on a 7-week math/science/astronomy camp, with the last week being a trip to Western States University in Colorado to view the stars through a HUGE telescope--all paid for through a grant written and submitted by the university. How cool is that??
In addition, we are hoping that Junior Players will be awarded a grant they submitted that will provide on-site theatre and drama training for our teens. AND, we recently began discussions with Junior Achievement to take part in their Finance Park financial literacy program this coming year. Finally, we will be working with Dallas Metrocare to provide psychiatric services to our teens this coming year.
These collaborations are so exciting and SO beneficial to our teens. And instead of a little help from our friends, Promise House is incredibly fortunate to be getting ALOT of help from our friends.
Thank you. The part you play in healing our kids is immeasurable.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Rise Up!!
So, it's February, the ground hog saw his shadow, and spring seems very far away. I'm sure it seems especially far away to those teens who are sleeping outside, trying to keep warm. We continue to bring in three or four teens a NIGHT directly from the streets. With the help of our fabulous Street Outreach, Shelter, and Transitional Living teams, they have all been taken care of....so far. If going home was an option, they went home, some with the help of Greyhound's "Home Free" program (free bus ticket for runaways to go home), others were moved into our transitional living program, some were helped to find a job and apartment, and a couple are in our shelter. But we are out of room, and yet, they keep coming. So, they sleep on pull-out couches or cots in our living room.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY, UNTIL THESE KIDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF, WE WILL NEVER END HOMELESSNESS??? We have 30, count them, 30 girls on our waiting list for an apartment. What do they do while they wait? Double up, sofa surf, stay with someone they shouldn't be staying with, roam the streets.
These are GOOD kids. One young woman in our transitional living program is on track to be VALEDICTORIAN of her high school. And she has done this while dealing with a totally unacceptable living situation. Just think what she could do with support???
Now I know why I haven't posted much in a month. I just didn't want to get angry all over again. Where is the justice for these teens? Where is the help? The Family Youth Services Bureau is the only federal agency that provides funds for transitional living programs for teens; BUT they only fund about 90 a year NATIONALLY. The Department of Housing and Urban Development will not accept any new projects unless they are permanent supportive housing for "chronically" homeless. Well, guess what? These teens haven't been on the street long enough to be chronic---but they WILL be, I promise you, unless they get help.
I'm also tired of being nice about this. Why don't we WAKE UP and see what is around us?? Those of us in this field have been saying for YEARS that the population of teens aging out of foster care is going to cause a second homelessness crisis. Statistic? Forty-two (42%) percent will be homeless at least once within two (2) years.
One glimmer of hope, the Department of Family and Protective Services is developing programs for teens to stay in care up to age 21; or to come back into care if they have aged out and haven't done well. But there is soooo much more that needs to be done,
So, if any of you out there are looking for a cause, are looking to change a life, want to witness miracles; or if you have alot of money just sitting around, and you're wondering what to do with it??? HERE IS YOUR CAUSE.
We were all teens once. We know how tough it is to get through those years,even with help. Our teens are trying to navigate those years under horrendous conditions. As I say over and over again, if it was your kid on the street, you would want all the help you could get.
I'm not asking for your help anymore, though. I'm challenging you to take up this cause for the sake of these kids, our community, our country.
They are the ones who need all the help they can get.....WILL YOU RISE UP?
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY, UNTIL THESE KIDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF, WE WILL NEVER END HOMELESSNESS??? We have 30, count them, 30 girls on our waiting list for an apartment. What do they do while they wait? Double up, sofa surf, stay with someone they shouldn't be staying with, roam the streets.
These are GOOD kids. One young woman in our transitional living program is on track to be VALEDICTORIAN of her high school. And she has done this while dealing with a totally unacceptable living situation. Just think what she could do with support???
Now I know why I haven't posted much in a month. I just didn't want to get angry all over again. Where is the justice for these teens? Where is the help? The Family Youth Services Bureau is the only federal agency that provides funds for transitional living programs for teens; BUT they only fund about 90 a year NATIONALLY. The Department of Housing and Urban Development will not accept any new projects unless they are permanent supportive housing for "chronically" homeless. Well, guess what? These teens haven't been on the street long enough to be chronic---but they WILL be, I promise you, unless they get help.
I'm also tired of being nice about this. Why don't we WAKE UP and see what is around us?? Those of us in this field have been saying for YEARS that the population of teens aging out of foster care is going to cause a second homelessness crisis. Statistic? Forty-two (42%) percent will be homeless at least once within two (2) years.
One glimmer of hope, the Department of Family and Protective Services is developing programs for teens to stay in care up to age 21; or to come back into care if they have aged out and haven't done well. But there is soooo much more that needs to be done,
So, if any of you out there are looking for a cause, are looking to change a life, want to witness miracles; or if you have alot of money just sitting around, and you're wondering what to do with it??? HERE IS YOUR CAUSE.
We were all teens once. We know how tough it is to get through those years,even with help. Our teens are trying to navigate those years under horrendous conditions. As I say over and over again, if it was your kid on the street, you would want all the help you could get.
I'm not asking for your help anymore, though. I'm challenging you to take up this cause for the sake of these kids, our community, our country.
They are the ones who need all the help they can get.....WILL YOU RISE UP?
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